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[翻译] 关于责任问题的邮件交流翻译

(2011-09-19 15:21:17)
标签:

责任

家庭

父母

困惑

维度

片断

看法

角度

无辜

过错

投射

孤立

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分类: 翻译
我以前曾经给 Leila 发过邮件问了类似关于责任的问题,现在我将那封邮件和回复翻译过来了。邮件中涉及到的一个视频“害怕父母”,我以前已经翻译过来放在博客上了,链接如下:http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/5d6fffd10100rz2l
 
邮件及回复翻译如下:

 

嗨 Leila,

 

以下是第五课中“害怕父母”这个视频中的一段话。 

 

 “当父母朝孩子喊叫、或对孩子表达愤怒、或对孩子表达恐惧、或对孩子表达焦虑时,父母并没有理解:他们朝着他们自己的表现朝着孩子所做的,实际上存在于他们自己之内,而与孩子没有任何关系。孩子,当然,将其解读为是他们的过错,是他们要受责备,是他们对这情形负有责任——但他们从来都并非真的如此。是父母们并未理解到孩子们在这里是在将你自己反映给你自己。”

 

关于这里的责任这一点,我现在有一些困惑。如果每个人都对其经历的所有一切事情百分之百地完全彻底地负有责任,那么为什么处于这个场景中的孩子对这情形没有责任?我本人在童年时候有过一些身体虐待经历,我想要关于我自己的经历的责任问题有一个清晰的理解。而且我记得在Bernard 一个视频中(具体是哪个我记不得了),他提到过考虑这样一点:处于同一个家庭之中的人们一生又一生地交换角色。这对于家庭场景之中的责任问题有什么说法吗?谢谢。

 

吴畏

 

 

嗨,吴畏

 

在害怕父母那个视频中,那个场景是“孤立地”考察的。

也就是说,在他们正解释父母和孩子那个场景的那个特定时刻——“存在”的仅仅就是父母和孩子,以及父母在朝孩子喊叫。

 

在那个解释之中,他们是在“放大进入”到处于此处的事物的“一个片断”,这只是存在于存在界这整体之中的许多维度之中的一个维度。

 

因此,如果我们考察那个父母/孩子场景,而不考虑存在着的任何其它事物,不考虑任何种类的过去——那么你可以说,那孩子是无辜的,因为他实际上什么事情也没做。父母朝孩子喊叫的原因在于他(她)有他(她)自己的问题没有处理而将其投射到了孩子身上。

 

因此,从那个角度来看,那孩子是无辜的——父母朝他/她喊叫并不是他/她的过错,尽管这是其父母的想法。

 

但是如果我们现在“缩小出来”并考察所有各种不同的维度的展现,那么你也可以做出如下评估——正如你所说的,那孩子负有责任是从如下方面说的——他作为集合整体的一部分已经接受和允许了这个世界到达这样一种状况之中——父母们将他们自己的问题投射到他们的孩子身上并朝他们喊叫。

 

从另一个角度看,那孩子可能是在经历他/她在某个过去生世之中对他人所做过的事。从另一个角度看,那孩子可能是无辜的,而父母也可能是无辜的——如果你从以下角度来看:他们只是在活出一个“预先编程的生世”。

 

因此,取决于你考察事物的“范围”,你会发现许多不同的看法,它们全都是作为一个整体的一切事物的一些“片断”、“维度”。

 

在那个视频中,只考察了“一个维度”。

 起初当我浏览所有材料时,我也有过同样的困惑。在想“喂,但是在那个视频中他们这样说,而在另一个视频中他们现在又那样说!哪个是正确的?”可是随着进展,我理解了它们是正确的,因为它们只是代表着正聚集到一起的一个谜题的不同片断。而那个谜题却有着无数的维度。呵呵。

 

如果还有不清楚的地方,告诉我。 

 

Leila

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英文原文:

 

Hi Leila,

 

The following is a paragraph from the video FEAR of PARENTS in lesson 5.

 

"When parents shout at a child, or express anger to a child, or fear to a child, or anxiety to a
child, the parent is not understanding that what they‘re doing towards the expression of
themselves to the child – is actually existing within them; it has NOTHING to do with the
child. The child, of course, interprets it as them, [it] being their fault, and that they‘re to
blame and that they‘re responsible for the situation – but they never actually are. It‘s the
parents not understanding that the children are here to reflect you back to yourself."

 

I am having some confusion on the point of responsibility here. If each one is 100 percent completely entirely responsible for all and everything that one experiences, why is it that the child in this scenario is not responsible for the situation? I myself personally had some physical abuse experiences in my childhood and I would like to have a clear understanding about responsibility with regards to my own experience. And I remember in one of Bernard's video (which one specifically I do not remember) he mentioned considering the point of beings switching roles in a family life after life. Does that have anything to say about the point of repsonsibility in this family scenario? Thanks.

 

Wei Wu

 

Hi Wei Wu,

In the Fear of Parents video, the scenario is looked at in ‘isolation’.

Meaning in that particular moment as they are explaining the scenario with the parent and the child – the only thing that ‘exists’ is the parent and the child, and the parent shouting at the child.

So if we look at the parent/child scenario in isolation of anything else that exists, in isolation of any type of past – then you can say that the child is innocent because he has literally not done anything. The reason why the parent is shouting is because he/she has his or her own issue that is not dealt with and which is projected unto the child.

So from that perspective – the child is innocent – it is not his/her fault that the parent is shouting at him/her. Even though that is what the parent thinks.

 

In the explanation they are thus ‘zooming in’ into a ‘fraction’ of what is here, only one of the many dimensions that exist within Existence as a whole.

 

But if we now ‘zoom out’ and look at all the various different dimensions into play, you can also asses that – like you said – the child is responsible in terms of being part of the collective whole having accepted and allowed the world to come to such a state where parents project their own issues unto their children and scream at them.

 

From another perspective, the child might be experiencing what he/she had done unto another in a past life. From another perspective, the child might be innocent and the parent may be innocent as well, if you look at it from the perspective that they are simply living out a ‘pre-programmed life’.

 

So depending on the ‘scope’ within which you are looking at something, you will find different perspectives which are all ‘fractions’, ‘dimensions’ of everything as a whole.

 

In the video, only ‘one dimension’ is looked at.

 

Initially when I went through all the material I had similar confusions. Thinking “hey but in that video they said this and in the other one they are now saying that! Which one is correct?” Though as I went along I understood that they were both correct as they simply represents different pieces of a puzzle that are coming together. But then a Puzzle with a gazillion dimensions lol.

 

Let me know if something’s not clear.

 

Leila

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