红魔英语的官方BLOG

 

I Am My Mother

By Anne Tews Schwab

 

    I swore¹ it would never happen. In fact, I spent most of my life trying to make sure it wouldn’t happen. And yet it crept² up on me when I wasn’t looking.

    I am now officially my mother.

    Don’t get me wrong: My mother is a wonderful, smart, funny, loving, sweet woman, and I love her dearly. But I swore I’d never be like her.

    How could I ever be so cruel as to not let my five-year-old child eat sweets every morning? How could I even think about banning cartoons from my children’s lives? And how could I ever be so heartless as to not allow my child dessert until she had eaten something healthy first?

    Then there were the teen years. What kind of mother imposes a curfew³ on her teenage daughter, I asked. Didn’t she trust me? And what was the idea of making the boys I went out with come inside to meet her and dad before I could leave? They weren’t going out with my parents so why should they have to meet them?

    Never would I subject my children to these cruelties.

    My children, I vowed⁴, would be allowed to survive on chocolate bars and, of course, sweets. They would watch TV until their eyes popped⁵ out if that is what they so desired. Curfew? Not in my house! My children could stay out all night, if they wanted, and I would applaud their independence and trustworthiness.

My children would have such a cool and hip⁶ mom that they would probably invite me to their parties, and all of the other kids would say, “Cool! There’s that great mom! Boy, are her kids lucky!”

    I also planned on never worrying. I watched my mother worry about me, about my sisters, about everything it seemed, and I knew I would never be like that. I told her often that she had no need to worry about me—I’d be home by midnight, maybe 1:00 am, and everything would be fine. There was no need to worry—the car has only a few dents⁷ in it, and nobody was hurt. What’s to worry about? Why worry about my friends? They are very nice people who simply happen to have a strange hairstyle, tattoos⁸ and pierced⁹ body parts. No need to worry. I could handle myself.

    I planned on never worrying like that with my children. I planned on being hip and cool. I would, of course, always dress in the most recent fashions, and never, ever, wear “mom” clothes. I would be so hip that my children’s friends would think I was one of them.

    Yes, that was my plan. To be the coolest, hippest mother around. To enforce only one rule in my house—there are no rules. I was planning on a complete revolt¹⁰ from my upbringing¹¹; I was planning on giving my children everything I was so brutally¹² deprived of¹³.

    But something happened along the way.

    I had a child of my own.

    On the day I brought my little girl home from the hospital, I made my husband throw out all the remaining sweets. When she started eating solid food, I never gave her anything sweet until she had something healthy first.

    And she hasn’t yet to see a cartoon on TV.

    She hasn’t hit the teen years yet, but I shudder¹⁴ to think of all the things she will want to do, and all of the things I won’t let her do. I’ve already decided she’ll have an 8:00 pm curfew and not be allowed to date until she’s eighteen. Of course, I reason, this is all for her own good, and so she’ll understand and meekly¹⁵ go along with my rules. Or not. I’m already worried.

    But she will always be showered with love, affection and adoration¹⁶. She already loves to read books, and she has an interest for vegetables. Okay, maybe not the veggies¹⁷, but the rest is true.

    As for me, I’ve finally admitted that my mom was pretty great after all. Even though I was deprived of so many wonderful, glorious¹⁸ things as a child, I turned out okay. And I have a feeling that my little girl will, too—although she’ll probably grow up planning all her life not to be like me. I only hope I can be as good a mother to her as my mother was, and is, to me.

 

1. swear [swZE] v. 宣誓，发誓

2. creep [kri:p] vi. 缓慢地进行，蔓延

3. curfew [5kE:fju:] n. (中世纪规定人们熄灯安睡的)晚钟声，打晚钟时刻，宵禁令(时间)

4. vow [vaJ] v. 宣誓，立誓，发誓

5. pop [pCp] vi. 瞪大

6. hip [hip] adj. 新潮的，时髦的

7. dent [dent] n. 凹, 凹痕

8. tattoos [tE5tu:, tA5tu:] n. 纹身

9. pierced [piEsd] adj. 穿耳的

10. revolt [ri5vEult] v. 反抗，反叛

11. upbringing [5QpbriNiN] n. 抚育，教养

12. brutally [5bru:tli] adv. 残忍地

13. deprive of 剥夺

14. shudder [5FQdE] vi. 战栗，发抖

15. meekly [5mi:kli] adv. 温顺地，懦弱地

16. adoration [7AdC:5reiFEn] n. 崇拜，爱慕

17. veggie [5vedVi] n. 素食者

18. glorious [5^lC:riEs] adj. 显赫的，令人愉快的

 

叛逆，在母爱中融化

    我发誓我绝不希望这事发生。事实上，我花了我大部分的时间来努力确保它不发生。但是当我真正成为母亲的时候，我已经不是我曾经期待的那个样子了。

    我现在正式成为一个母亲。

    千万别误解：我的母亲是位极好的、聪慧的、幽默的、充满爱心的、甜美的妇女。我非常地爱她。但我曾经发誓我永远也不会像她那样对待自己的孩子。

    我怎么可能会残忍到不让我5岁的孩子每天早上吃糖果？我怎么可能想到禁止我的孩子看卡通节目？我怎么可能如此铁石心肠，不允许我的孩子吃甜食，除非她先吃一些健康的食品？

    当孩子十几岁的时候，是什么样的母亲会禁止女儿和她的朋友们晚上出去玩？难道母亲不信任我吗？是什么样的想法使她要求在我离开之前，她和爸爸要先见到和我一起出去的男孩子？他们又不是和我的父母出去约会，为什么他们必须先见我的父母呢？

    我永远都不会让我的孩子受到这些暴行。

    我曾发誓，我将允许我的孩子们随心所欲地吃巧克力，当然，包括糖果。只要他们喜欢，他们随时都可以看电视，甚至看到眼睛瞪出来，我也不会干涉。只要愿意，他们可以整夜不归，我将为他们的独立精神和值得信赖而鼓掌。

    我的孩子将会有一位如此“酷”和时尚的母亲，他们可能会邀请我参加他们的聚会。所有孩子都会羡慕：“真酷。你有一位伟大的母亲。能够成为她的孩子真幸运。”

    我还曾决定永远也不去担心那些琐事。我看到我妈妈老是担心我，担心我的姐妹，似乎担心关于我们的每一件事，我想我永远也不可能像母亲那样。我经常告诉她，没有必要担心我——我会在午夜之前回家，当然，也许是凌晨一点，一切都会安然无事的。没有什么好担心的，我们的赛车只不过有几个小小的凹痕，没有人受伤。要担心什么呢？没有必要担心我的朋友，他们都是非常好的人，只不过是碰巧弄了个奇怪的发型，有个纹身，穿了耳洞而已。我能够处理好这一切。

    我还曾决定永远也不能像我母亲那样担心我的孩子。我决定成为时尚的、酷的母亲。我将会，毫无疑问，经常穿着最时髦的服饰，绝不穿“妈咪”服。我将是如此的时尚，以至于孩子们都把我当作是他们中间的一员。

    是的，这些都曾是我的决心。做一位最酷，最时尚的母亲。在我的屋子里要执行的唯一的原则就是没有原则。我还曾计划对自己的孩子的教育来一次彻底的改革，我曾决定给予我的孩子所有我曾经被母亲残酷地剥夺了的一切。

    但是，随着时间的推移，一切都发生了变化。

    我有了自己的孩子。

    就在我带着我女儿从医院回家的那一天。我要求我丈夫扔掉了家里所有剩余的糖果。当她可以吃固体食物的时候，我从来不给她吃任何甜的东西，除非她已经吃了一些健康的食品。

而她迄今为止还没有看过卡通片。

    她现在还不满十三岁，我就开始为她将来可能要做的事感到不寒而栗，而这些事都是我不允许的。现在我就已经规定她必须在晚上八点之前回家，在十八岁前不允许约会。当然，我有我的理由，这一切都是为她好，而她也将会明白我的苦心，乖乖地服从我的规定。如果不是这样，我就开始担心了。

    但是她一定会沐浴在爱、亲情和赞美之中。她现在已经开始喜欢读书了，而且她也喜欢蔬菜。当然，她不是一个素食主义者，但是喜欢却是真的。

    对于我而言，我终于承认我的母亲很伟大。即使我被剥夺了很多对于一个小孩子来说很美好的、精彩的事情。我证明了这一切都是正确的。我的女儿也会像我当年那样：她可能也决定等她长大以后，决不像我这样。我只希望我可以成为一个很好的母亲，就像我的母亲对我那样。

 

 

                                                              (转载请注明出处，谢谢)