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湖下(下)

(2008-08-30 22:07:59)
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圣杯

里昂纳斯

文化

分类: 译文

Long ago, long ago, I had shored up the very foundations of the land. Now, in my making of the Grail, I had torn away the props. Lyonnesse would drown, but I would not drown with it. I became a great eagle and rose to the sky, the Grail clutched in my talons. Or rather, I tried to. My wings beat in a frenzy, but the Grail would not move. I tried to let it go, but could not, and still the wave came on, till it blocked out the very sun and it was too late to be flying anywhere.
  很久很久以前,我用力量支撑起这片土地的根基。但现在,在我铸造圣杯的过程中,我却撤去了这些支柱。里昂纳斯将会沉没,但我可不愿和它一起葬身大海。于是我变成一只雄鹰奋力冲向天空,爪子紧攫住圣杯。或者更准确的说,我试图飞离。我的翅膀狂乱地拍打着,可圣杯一动不动。于是我尝试着让它落下去,同样也办不到。直到巨浪袭来,蔽日遮天。一切都太晚了,我哪里也去不了了。

It was then I knew that the Grail brought not only peace, but judgment. I had filled it with the dreams of a thousand folk, dreams of peace and justice. But I had let other dreams creep in, and one of those was a dream that the white demon that preyed upon them in the moonlit nights would be punished for the deaths she wrought, and the fear she had brought upon the people.

接着,我才明白,圣杯不仅赐福和平,同样也带来审判。我将成千人对和平、正义的梦想注入进去,但同时也混进了少量其他的梦想。其中一个就是在月夜里捕食他们的白色恶魔,因而她将为给人们带来对死亡的恐惧而收到惩罚。

The wave came upon me as I changed back to human shape, crushing me beneath a mountain wall of water, picking me up, Grail and all, for a journey without air and light that crossed the width of Lyonnesse before it let me go. I was broken at the end, my human form beyond repair. I took another shape, the best I could make, though it was not pleasing to mine or any other eyes. It is a measure of the Grail’s mercy that this seemed sufficient punishment, for only then could I let it fall.

我一变回人形,浪就涌了上来,我被如山的水障压在底下。周围的一切还有圣杯又挟卷起我,开始了一趟没有光亮和空气的旅程,直到横跨整个里昂乃斯才停下。在终点我已变得支离破碎,无法恢复人形。于是我选择了另一个形态,这是我能做的最好的了,尽管那样子没法使任何人满意。这也正显示出圣杯的适度仁慈,它似乎觉得惩罚已经足够——因为直到那时我才能放得开它。

I did let it go, but never from my sight. For now, even waking, I dreamed of all the folk of Lyonnesse who died under the wave, and only the Grail would give me untroubled rest. Years passed, and I slithered from sea to river to lake, till at last I came here, following the drifts and tumblings of the Grail. I was not surprised to find that Excalibur awaited me, still sheathed and shining, despite its long sojourn in the deep. It seemed fitting that everything I made should lie together, both the things and the fate. Even the Grail seemed content to sit, as if waiting for the future I could not see.

我确实放开了圣杯,但是一直没让它离开我的视线。直到现在,即使是醒着,我也会隐约看见葬身大海的里昂纳斯的所有人们。也只有圣杯才能带给我不受打扰的安眠。这么多年来,我跟随着圣杯漂流的足迹蜿蜒滑行,从大海到江河,从江河到湖泊,直到我最后来到了这里。我一点也不奇怪王者之剑在这里等着我,尽管它在深渊中呆了那么久,但仍在剑鞘中散发着耀眼的光芒。看起来我制成的每一件东西都很适合待在一起,不管是东西还是命运。甚至连圣杯看起来都很满意地矗立在那里,好像在等待着我无法看到的未来。

I cannot remember when Merlin first found me here, but it is not so strange, given our birthing together so long ago. He has studied humanity with greater care than I, and used his power with much more caution.

我记不起梅林是什么时候第一次在这里找到我的,但这并不奇怪。很久以前我们就是一起出生的。不过他比我更加用心专注地研究人性,而且对于他自己力量的使用也更加小心谨慎。

There! I have left his spell behind with my drowned past, and now we shall bargain in earnest. He will give me back my human shape, he says, in return for the sword. He knows it is an offer I cannot refuse. What is the sword to me, compared to the warmth of the sun on my soft skin, the colors that my eyes will see anew, the cool wind that will caress my face?

好吧!我在回忆过去的同时已经将他的咒语抛在了脑后。而现在是该谈谈价钱的时候了。梅林会还我人形,作为报酬,我得给他那把剑,他说。他知道这是个我无法拒绝的提议。比起温暖我柔软皮肤的和煦阳光,重现在我眼前的斑斓色彩和拂过我面庞的徐徐清风,那柄剑有算得了什么呢?

 Merlin is clever. He will not touch the sword himself, but will tell me when I must give it up to Arthur. Only then will I receive my side of the bargain. It is curious to feel expectation again, and something that I must define as hope.
  梅林很聪明。他自己不会碰那把剑,但他会告诉我何时该把剑让给亚瑟。只有到了那时,我才能得到交易中我的报酬。再次感受到了期待很让我好奇,还有一些我得定义为“希望”的东西。

Even the brightness seems less wearing on my eyes, or perhaps it is Merlin who has chosen to be kind. Yes, now he talks of the Grail, and asks me to give it up. Merlin does not understand its nature, I think, or he would not be trying to get it for himself.
  甚至连这光亮在我眼中都变得不那么刺眼了,也或许是梅林觉得该仁慈些了。是的,现在他谈论起了圣杯,并劝我放弃它。可梅林并不了解圣杯的本性,我想,或许并不是他自己想要得到它吧。

The Grail will wait, I tell him. Go and fetch your King, your Arthur. I will give him the sword, the scabbard too, and may he use them well.
    圣杯会等的,我告诉梅林。去找到你的国王,你的亚瑟吧。我会把剑和剑鞘都给他,并祝福这名国王能好好使用它们。
  Merlin knows when to wait. He has always been good at waiting. He leaps upward in a flurry of light and I slide back into my cave, to coil around the hollow that contains my treasures. The Grail was there yesterday, but not now. If I thought Merlin had stolen it, I would be angry. Perhaps I would pursue him, up into the warmer, lighter waters, to see if his power is as great as what remains of mine.
  梅林知道什么时候该去等待,他也一直很善于等待。在一阵光晕的波动中,他轻轻的跃出了水面,而我滑回我的洞中,盘绕在我放满宝藏的凹陷洞坑周围。圣杯昨天还在……但现在却不见了!我想如果是梅林偷了它,我将会愤怒生气。也许我会追赶他直到上面更加温暖明亮的水层中,好看看他的力量是否和我体内残留的一样强大。

But I will not, for I know the Grail has left me without Merlin’s tricks or thievery, as it has left a thousand times before. I have always followed it in the past, seeking the relief it gave. Now I think time has served that same purpose, if not so well. Time and cold and depth. It slows thought, and dulls memory. Only Merlin’s coming has briefly woken me at all, I realize, and there lies the irony of our exchange.

但是我不会去的,因为我知道没有梅林的把戏或是盗窃行径圣杯也会像以往的一千次一样离开我。我过去总是跟随着它,寻求圣杯所带来的慰藉。而现在,我认为,时间也能做到这一切,只是效果没那么好罢了。时间,寒冷和深渊迟钝了我的头脑和我的记忆。我意识到,只有梅林的到来才能暂时让我完全清醒,这真是对我们交易的讽刺。
I will give the sword to Arthur, but without the Grail I do not think I will long remain in human shape. The Grail taught me guilt, but it also drank it up. Without it, I shall have to think too much and remember too much. I will have to live with a light that blinds me, until at last I have used up all the lives of Lyonnesse that lie within my gut.

我会给亚瑟这柄剑,不过没有圣杯我觉得我不能长久的保持人形。圣杯教会了我忏悔罪过,但它同时会将愧疚感化解。没有它,我会想起太多,记住太多。我得生活在足以弄瞎我的光明中,直到我耗尽我体内的最后一条里昂纳斯的生命。

No. The Grail has gone. When Excalibur is likewise gone, I shall return to the darkness and the cold, to this place where a dull serpent can sleep without dreaming. Till once again I must obey the call of strength and sorrow, of love and longing, of justice and of peace. All these things of human magic, that I never knew till I made the sword and scabbard, and never understood until I made the Grail.

不,圣杯去了,就像王者之剑离开了一样,我应该回到又冷又黑的地方去,只有在那一条迟钝的大蛇才能无梦安眠。安眠到我必须服从再一次的被召回,再一次被力量和悲哀,爱和渴望,正义和和平召回。这些人类的魔法,我直到铸成了剑和鞘才知道,而直到造出了圣杯才真正理解。

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