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怎样生活才会更幸福

(2008-11-07 23:38:48)
标签:

幸福生活

幸福行动计划

幸福项目研究

休闲

分类: 健康生活

幸福行动实施计划

 

按:http://www.happiness-project.com/是一位美国作家的幸福实施计划的一个日志,其内容健康积极,科学分析资料翔实,结合现实生活和工作体验,并运用了心理学和医学的一些成果,对当今危机状态下的幸福概念的探讨和幸福生活的追求很有意义。如果有哪位中国人建立这样严谨、科学、充满爱心和有说服力的日志就好了。附文仅供参考。

10 Ways to Be Happier(10种更幸福的生活方式)

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      by Real Simple, on Fri Oct 24, 2008 9:00am PDT

How happy are you -- really? If there’s room for improvement, then Gretchen Rubin has some suggestions.在乎幸福——真的吗?若还有某些改善的余地,Gretchen Rubin女士就有一些建议。

A few years ago, on a morning like any other, I had a sudden realization: I was in danger of wasting my life. As I stared out the rain-spattered window of a New York City bus, I saw that the years were slipping by.
几年前,一个平凡的早上,我突然意识到:我正处于挥霍生活的危险之中。透过纽约公交车上窗外那淅淅沥沥的雨,飞逝的岁月正在擦身而过。
“What do I want from life?” I asked myself. “Well…I want to be happy.” I had many reasons to be happy: My husband was the tall, dark, handsome love of my life; we had two delightful girls, ages 1 and 7; I was a writer, living in my favorite city. I had friends; I had my health; I didn’t have to color my hair. But too often I sniped at my husband or the drugstore clerk. I felt dejected after even a minor professional setback. I lost my temper easily. Is that how a happy person would act?
“生活中我想要什么呢?”我问自己。“哦...我想要幸福。”很多理由需要幸福:丈夫又高又黑俊,是我的至爱,还有两个可爱的女孩,一个1岁一个7岁;我还是一名作家,生活在一个如意的城市。也有朋友和健康,更不必染发。但总有那么几次曾捉弄过丈夫或是化妆品店员,还有职场上的一点挫折就灰心丧气,而且很容易发脾气。难道那是一个幸福的人做的事吗?
I decided on the spot to begin a systematic study of happiness. (A little intense, I know. But that’s the kind of thing that appeals to me.) In the end, I spent a year test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies, and tips from popular culture. If I followed all the advice, I wanted to know, would it work?
我当即决定开始一项系统的幸福研究(要做起来有点吃力,我明白。但那正是吸引我的地方)。最终我坚持了一年的试验——埋于各年龄段的知识经验、现有科学研究及大众文化的点滴资料中。
Well, the year is over, and I can say: It did. I made myself happier. And along the way I learned a lot about how to be happier. Here are those lessons.
好吧,一年过后,我可以说:我做到了。我使自己更幸福了。而且沿着这条路,我学会了大量的如何更幸福的知识。以下就是这些经验。
1. Don’t start with profundities.(去掉深奥的东西,从简单做起)
When I began my Happiness Project, I realized pretty quickly that, rather than jumping in with lengthy daily meditation or answering deep questions of self-identity, I should start with the basics, like going to sleep at a decent hour and not letting myself get too hungry. Science backs this up; these two factors have a big impact on happiness. Learn how to Get a Good Night's Sleep.
一开始这个幸福项目计划我就很快意识到,与其每天苦思冥想或找到那些艰深问题认同答案,倒不如因繁就简,从简单做起,如睡个把小时的囫囵觉,也不要让自己感觉太饥饿。科学支持这一点;这两个因素对幸福有很大的影响。请参考《如何获得一个良好的睡眠》的文章。
2. Do let the sun go down on anger.(太阳落山后,不要带着气一起下)
I had always scrupulously aired every irritation as soon as possible, to make sure I vented all bad feelings before bedtime. Studies show, however, that the notion of anger catharsis is poppycock. Expressing anger related to minor, fleeting annoyances just amplifies bad feelings, while not expressing anger often allows it to dissipate. (See 16 Ways to Manage Your Anger from Real Simple)
我总要尽可能小心翼翼地化解掉所有的怒气,以确保不带坏情绪入眠。然而,研究表明,怒气情绪宣泄的念头根本没有意义。拘泥于小事表达怒气,欲飞的烦恼恰又放大自己刚才的坏情绪,而不表达则怒气时常就会烟消云散。(参考《管理怒气的16种方法》)
3. Fake it till you feel it.(控制情绪,积极行动)
Feelings follow actions. If I’m feeling low, I deliberately act cheery, and I find myself actually feeling happier. If I’m feeling angry at someone, I do something thoughtful for her and my feelings toward her soften. This strategy is uncannily effective.
行动感染情绪。感觉情绪低落时,故作快乐状,结果发现我真的感觉幸福多了。当对某人来气时,要想人所想,这样自己的情绪就会软化。这一招出奇地灵验。
4. Realize that anything worth doing is worth doing badly.(敢于挑战和猎奇,要明白值得做的事肯定值得去做)
Challenge and novelty are key elements of happiness. The brain is stimulated by surprise, and successfully dealing with an unexpected situation gives a powerful sense of satisfaction. People who do new things — learn a game, travel to unfamiliar places — are happier than people who stick to familiar activities that they already do well. I often remind myself to “Enjoy the fun of failure” and tackle some daunting goal.
挑战和猎奇是幸福的关键因素。大脑受到惊奇事物的刺激,伴随着不期而遇的情形就会形成一种满意的强烈意识。当人们从事新的东西时——学会一项游戏,到新的地方旅游——都会比那些做得好而限以熟悉的活动的人感觉更幸福。我时常提醒自己“享受失败的乐趣”解决并实现那些使人畏缩的目标。
5. Don’t treat the blues with a “treat.”(心情忧郁时不要“犒劳”自己)
Often the things I choose as “treats” aren’t good for me. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt and loss of control and other negative consequences deepen the lousiness of the day. While it’s easy to think, I’ll feel good after I have a few glasses of wine…a pint of ice cream…a cigarette…a new pair of jeans, it’s worth pausing to ask whether this will truly make things better.
(情绪不好时)时常选择为“犒劳”的事情对我并不是什么好事。快乐的感觉持续一分钟,但接着自责和失控或者其他一些负面的效应把一整天都赔进去。可以很容易地想一想,喝杯葡萄酒...吃块冰激凌...点支香烟...换身新的牛仔裤,肯定感觉好受些,但请你也暂停想一想这样做是否真的可以使事情变得更好。
6. Buy some happiness.(买点幸福)
Our basic psychological needs include feeling loved, secure, and good at what we do and having a sense of control. Money doesn’t automatically fill these requirements, but it sure can help. I’ve learned to look for ways to spend money to stay in closer contact with my family and friends; to promote my health; to work more efficiently; to eliminate sources of irritation and marital conflict; to support important causes; and to have enlarging experiences. For example, when my sister got married, I splurged on a better digital camera. It was expensive, but it gave me a lot of happiness bang for the buck.
我们基本的心理需要包括:被爱、安全、擅长某种东西并能支配它。金钱并不会自动满足这些需要,但是它的确有所帮助。我学会找到了这样的花钱方法:可以与家庭和朋友保持更亲密的关系;增强自己的体质;高效地工作;减少恼气避免夫妻争吵;给重要的事业以支持;丰富自己的人生经验。譬如,妹妹结婚时我大方地给她买了台数码相机,虽然有些贵但我感觉值,从中感到了某种幸福。
7. Don’t insist on the best.(凡事不要追求完美,满意即可)
There are two types of decision makers. Satisficers (yes, satisficers) make a decision once their criteria are met. When they find the hotel or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied. Maximizers want to make the best possible decision. Even if they see a bicycle or a backpack that meets their requirements, they can’t make a decision until they’ve examined every option. Satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers. Maximizers expend more time and energy reaching decisions, and they’re often anxious about their choices. Sometimes good enough is good enough.
世上有两类决策者,满足性和完美型。满足型指标准一旦满足就做决定,如发现宾馆或意大利面酱符合自己的品位,这类人就满意了。完美型是尽善尽美。即使自行车或旅游背包满足要求,这类人都会仔细检查每一个项目后才作出决定。满足型通常比完美型要幸福。完美型的决策费时费力且对自己的抉择总过意不去。所以有时尚好就足够了。
8. Exercise to boost energy.(锻炼可以增加活力)
I knew, intellectually, that this worked, but how often have I told myself, “I’m just too tired to go to the gym”? Exercise is one of the most dependable mood-boosters. Even a 10-minute walk can brighten my outlook. Try one of these 15-Minute Workouts.
我明白,理智上说来,锻炼的确有效,但时常我自言自语“到健身房会不会太累?”应该说,锻炼是改善情绪最可靠的方法。即使10分钟的散步也会豁然开朗。参考《15分钟练习》。
9. Stop nagging.(停止唠叨)
I knew my nagging wasn’t working particularly well, but I figured that if I stopped, my husband would never do a thing around the house. Wrong. If anything, more work got done. Plus, I got a surprisingly big happiness boost from quitting nagging. I hadn’t realized how shrewish and angry I had felt as a result of speaking like that. I replaced nagging with the following persuasive tools: wordless hints (for example, leaving a new lightbulb on the counter); using just one word (saying “Milk!” instead of talking on and on); not insisting that something be done on my schedule; and, most effective of all, doing a task myself. Why did I get to set the assignments?
我知道女人唠叨不会特别有效,但一旦打算停止它,丈夫也许永远不会干一点家务活。错了。没有唠叨活干得更多。而且,因为停止唠叨,我获到了极大的幸福感。原来我并没有意识到唠叨的后果有时简直像个泼妇,暴躁加上愤怒。试着只说一个词(如“牛奶”而不是一遍遍重复它);不要再坚持什么事都按部就班地做了。其实,最有效的,我自己来做。难道这样还要给自己分配任务吗?
10. Take action.(立即行动)
Some people assume happiness is mostly a matter of inborn temperament: You’re born an Eeyore or a Tigger, and that’s that. Although it’s true that genetics play a big role, about 40 percent of your happiness level is within your control. Taking time to reflect, and conscious steps to make your life happier, really does work. So use these tips to start your own Happiness Project. I promise it won’t take you a whole year.
某些人认为幸福不幸福是与生俱有的:什么屹耳、跳跳虎,等等的那回事。虽然遗传起主要作用是事实,但大约40%的幸福你还是自己可以掌控。花一些时间安排一下生活并有意识地采取一些步骤,相信会见效的。或者,试试本文讲的10个点子,我担保用不了一年,你的幸福项目计划就会成功的。
About the Author(关于作者)
Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, and she keeps a daily blog at www.happiness-project.com. Her next book, The Happiness Project, will be published in late 2009. She lives in New York City with her husband and two daughters.

格雷琴.鲁宾女士已经出了几本书,还有自己的常用博客www.happiness-project.com. 她的下一本书,幸福项目行动计划,2009年下半年出版。她与丈夫及两个女儿住在纽约市。
More from Real Simple:
The Guide to Happiness
9 Sleep Problems, Resolved
8 Health Shortcuts That Work
 

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