“我们都处在沟中，但是其中一些人在仰望着天空中的星星。”
                                                                                                                              ——奥斯卡.王尔德

                “燕子，你要赶快离开我吧，现在已是寒冬了。 ”
                “不！可怜的王子 你现在瞎了，我要永远陪着你！”          
                                                 _  《快乐王子》 王尔德 


        最初知道王尔德是看了他的童话《快乐王子》,小燕子爱上了城市中心广场中高贵的“快乐王子”雕像，在寒冷的冬季，为了救济城市中的穷人，善良的王子让小燕子啄去自己身上的金片，剑上的红宝石，双眼中的蓝宝石.....  
      小燕子为了陪伴失去双眼的王子，冻死在王子脚下，就在她跌落的那一刻，王子身体里那颗铅铸的心爆裂了.....
      悲凉的童话，比北欧的寒冬还要寒冷；好在故事结尾，王尔德让天使带着王子和燕子去了天堂......
     王尔德如此之优雅倜傥，以至于当时整个英国沙龙都拜倒在他脚下；王尔德如此之才华横溢，直到今天其天才的剧作，仍让人赞叹；但可悲的很，他整整早出生了120年，他的同性恋情，让他从天堂重重的跌到了地狱，从上流社会的宠儿一夜间沦为伦理的败坏者、社会的败类，被判服苦役2年；出狱后妻离子散，流落国外，47岁孤独而终。

         曾经在《东方》杂志上看见一组图片，美国某州允许同性登记婚姻，许多同性情侣欣喜万分而至，图片上一个个喜悦之情难以言表，因为许多都是相守多年的“情侣”。王尔德如果泉下有知，一定感叹：生不逢时啊！  
         很奇怪，现实中的真正的夫妻和情侣，有多少能做到遭遇苦难、悲苦，不离不弃，白头偕老，他（她）们却能顶着人们异样的目光，相守数年，甚至数十年，真的很难以理解。李安把一部《断背山》拍得煽情而感人，还摘得奥斯卡大奖；这说明李安和国外，对这种不寻常的情感，不再以病态、病理来做论断，是做为了一种非主流的情感。
        很佩服西方的导演和演员，总能把这些有悖社会主流伦理和情感的故事，拍摄和演绎得如此委婉动人，强烈而准确搏动着人们那根敏感细腻的伤感神经，看后感动甚至伤感不已；比如过去的《廊桥遗梦》（伊斯特伍德、斯特里普），《美国丽人》，最近获奥斯卡奖的《朗读者》......
          如果，王尔德与我们同时代出生，同时代成长，他的优雅、才情将不止只持续短短的三十年，他仰视的夜空还将更加辽阔，还能看见的繁星将更多、更亮！
      而我也将在黑夜中，仰望他！



    （特别声明：呵呵，本人生理和心理都还比较正常；不厌恶不反对某些事物，并不表示赞同或支持某些事物，但要宽容，要宽恕.....）


The Ballad of Reading Gaol （瑞丁监狱之歌）
by
Oscar Wilde                （奥斯卡.王尔德于1896年7月写于瑞丁监狱）
In Memoriam
C.T.W.
Sometime Trooper of  
The Royal Horse Guards.
Obiit H.M. Prison, Reading, Berkshire,
July 7th, 1896


He did not wear his scarlet coat,
他没有穿他的猩红外套，
For blood and wine are red,
因为血液和葡萄酒是红的，
And blood and wine were on his hands
血与酒在他双手之上，
When they found him with the dead,
当他们发现他在死者身旁，
The poor dead woman whom he loved,
他爱着的死去的可怜妇人，
And murdered in her bed.
被杀害于她的床边。
He walked amongst the Trial Men
他走到审判人当中，
In a suit of shabby grey;  
身着一套简陋的灰衣;
A cricket cap was on his head,
一顶板球帽子戴在头顶，
And his step seemed light and gay;
和着他轻盈虚浮的脚步；
But I never saw a man who looked So wistfully at the day.
过去我不曾见过一个人渴望得那么深刻。  
I never saw a man who looked With such a wistful eye
我从未见过谁的眼中会有这样幽邃的渴望。
Upon that little tent of blue Which prisoners call the sky,
把囚犯称为天空的幕布审视得是那样心无旁骛  
And at every drifting cloud that went With sails of silver by.
眼见每片飘过的浮云展现出银帆般的丰韵。  
I walked, with other souls in pain,
我离开，与其他伤痛的灵魂
Within another ring,
进入另一个圈牢，
And was wondering if the man had done
怀疑那个人犯过的
A great or little thing,
是重罪或无关紧要的小事，
When a voice behind me whispered low,
一个声音在我身后低低耳语，
"That fellow's got to swing."
那家伙脖子上要套绳索
Dear Christ! the very prison walls
万能的主！高高的牢狱之墙
Suddenly seemed to reel
似乎突然间摇摇晃晃
And the sky above my head  
我头顶上高远的苍穹
became Like a casque of scorching steel;
犹如滚钢铸造的盔帽；
And, though I was a soul in pain,
即使我是一个痛苦的囚犯，  
My pain I could not feel
我已不能感受自己的痛苦
I only knew what hunted thought  
我仅仅明白是什么诡怪的念头
Quickened his step, and why  
加快了他的步伐，
He looked upon the garish day
他面对这俗丽的一天
With such a wistful eye;
为何有这样神往的眼神
The man had killed the thing he loved
男人杀了他的所爱
And so he had to die.
迎来他必须的死宴（为此他只得以命相抵。）
Yet each man kills the thing he loves
可每个人都将钟情杀死
By each let this be heard,
你不妨听听每人的方式  
Some do it with a bitter look,
一些使用恶毒的尖眼，  
Some with a flattering word,
一些使用阿谀的巧言，
The coward does it with a kiss,
懦夫凑上轻轻的一吻
The brave man with a sword!  
勇者挥出尖利的刀锋
Some kill their love when they are young,
有人毁所爱时尚且年少，
And some when they are old;
有人毁所爱时已然年老；  
Some strangle with the hands of Lust,
有人用欲望之手扼杀，
Some with the hands of Gold
有人靠金钱之手屠戮：  
The kindest use a knife, because
仁慈的人才使用利刃，
The dead so soon grow cold.
使得死者可以瞬间冰冷，
Some love too little, some too long,
有人爱得太深有人太浅，
Some sell, and others buy;
有人用钱买有人把钱换；
Some do the deed with many tears,
有人毁所爱时泪水涟涟，  
And some without a sigh:
有人却务须长吁短叹：
For each man kills the thing he loves,
虽然每个人都在毁灭所爱，  
Yet each man does not die.  
却未必谁都会等来死亡。（却未必谁都把绞索来套。）
He does not die a death of shame
他不是死于羞耻
On a day of dark disgrace,
在一个灰暗的羞耻之日
Nor have a noose about his neck,
脖子上没有把绞索紧缚
Nor a cloth upon his face,
脸上也没有蒙一块黑布  
Nor drop feet foremost through the floor
双脚也无须首先垂落  
Into an empty place
在地板上设置的坑窝。  

He does not sit with silent men  
他没有同沉默的人群坐在一起
Who watch him night and day;
那些昼夜监守的人们
Who watch him when he tries to weep,
他们看着他试图哭泣
And when he tries to pray;
他们看着他希望祈祷
Who watch him lest himself should rob
对他的监视深怕他会动手
The prison of its prey.
释放牢房里的囚犯
He does not wake at dawn to see
他没有在黎明醒来看看  
Dread figures throng his room,
威严的人物聚集在他的房间
The shivering Chaplain robed in white,
发抖的牧师身着白袍，  
The Sheriff stern with gloom,
司法长官阴沉着脸不笑，
And the Governor all in shiny black,
狱长一身黑服闪着光，
With the yellow face of Doom.
蜡黄的脸色预示厄运就要降临。  
He does not rise in piteous haste
他没有可怜巴巴地赶快起床  
To put on convict-clothes,
把那些定罪的衣服穿上，  
While some coarse-mouthed Doctor gloats, and notes
嘴巴粗糙的医生在旁盯视  
Each new and nerve-twitched pose,
每个新的神往抽动的姿势  
Fingering a watch whose little ticks
还给一个守卫打手势，  
Are like horrible hammer-blows.
他的碎步像落地的锤子
He does not know that sickening thirst
他没感到那种难忍的干渴  
That sands one's throat, before
把人的喉头填沙般地折磨  
The hangman with his gardener's gloves
尽管刽子手戴上施刑手套
Slips through the padded door,
走进了装着厚衬垫的门道，  
And binds one with three leathern thongs,
两只手上缠着三根皮索，
That the throat may thirst no more.
勒紧喉咙使它不再知渴。
He does not bend his head to hear
他没有低下头聆听  
The Burial Office read,
埋葬官宣读安息令  
Nor, while the terror of his soul
他的灵魂在苦受熬煎  
Tells him he is not dead,
告诉他那没有耗完的生命；  
Cross his own coffin, as he moves into the hideous shed.
当他走进严森森的刑屋，目光穿过属于他的棺木
He does not stare upon the air
他没有仰望遥远的天庭
Through a little roof of glass;
从玻璃的小小屋顶  
He does not pray with lips of clay
他没有用颤抖的双唇祈祷
For his agony to pass;
为了解脱昔日的痛苦
Nor feel upon his shuddering cheek
他战栗的脸颊难以感受
The kiss of Caiaphas.
该亚法的亲吻