做朋克才能让我从这个社会从我的家庭中喘口气。我恨这个世界

 

我父母在我出生以后就离婚了。我的哥哥给我的母亲，我被给了我父亲。他是个混蛋。

 

他从80年代开始吸毒，进了七八次监狱。我也恨我的母亲，她根本不该把我生出来。七年前我见过她一次，我奶奶带着我去见她。在他们的公寓里我和我哥哥打了一架。

我离开了学校，因为我打了校长。他在医院呆了三周。平时我都是很安静的，不过我变得很暴躁。一次一群白痴混混在校门口等我。我藏了把刀然后把它刺进了带头的家伙的腿里。

我奶奶把我带大，她是唯一一个给过我关爱的人。一次我整晚在外没有回家，和我同学在打游戏机。奶奶找了我一晚上，当她第二天早上找到我的时候，没有责骂我，而是给我钱叫我去买点吃的。

在我四年级的时候，奶奶带我去动物园玩，这是我最幸福的时光。她在2002年的时候因为肺癌去世了。
她在去世的时候叫着我的名字。我非常想念她，常常梦见她。
奶奶把他的公寓留给了我，我爸把它卖了换毒品。
我有时候想，在另一个城市开始我新的生活，但是一想到我只能挣一点点钱，我放弃了。
现在我已经没有了希望，我只是等待，我计划过很多种自杀方式。
其中之一就是做一些能引起整个世界注意的事情。
另一种，就是给自己注射动物用安乐死药剂。死的安静，没有人知道。

Being a punk is a way of venting to society, to my family. I hate this world.í?

Jia Jing, 17
Above: Left, Zhao Xiao, 20; Right, Jia Jing, 17.
Back to top : PAGE 26 ¿C  Punk
My parents divorced just after I was born. My elder brother was given to my mother. I was given to my father. Heí»s a bastard.
Heí»s been a drug addict since the 1980s, and heí»s been in prison seven or eight times.
I hate my mother, too. She shouldní»t have had me. I saw her once seven years ago when my grandma dragged me to see her. I fought with my elder brother in their apartment.
I left school because I hit the principal. He was in hospital for three weeks. Usually Ií»m quiet, but I can become violent. Once a group of assholes waited at the school entrance for me. I hid a knife on me and stuck it in the leaderí»s leg.
My grandma raised me. She has been the only one to give me love. Once I stayed out the whole night, playing videogames with my classmate. Grandma searched for me all night and when she found me the next morning, she didní»t scold me. Instead, she gave me money to buy snacks.
When I was in grade four, grandma took me to the zoo. It was the happiest experience Ií»ve ever had. She died in 2002 from lung cancer.
She shouted my name when she was dying. I miss her very much and dream of her all the time.
Grandma left me her apartment and my father sold it to buy drugs.
I used to think about starting a new life in another city, but I got discouraged when I realized how little I could earn.
Now Ií»ve given up hoping, I just wait. I have planned some ways to die. One is to do something that gets attention from the entire world.
Another choice is to inject myself with a euthanasia drug for pets, to die quietly with no one knowing.