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办公室规定新说(New Office Work Rules)(转)

(2006-10-20 21:06:11)
分类: 经典转贴

 

生病:任何借口都是没有意义的。我们将不再接受你的医生开的证明,因为我们坚信如果你能够去看医生就可以来上班。

SICKNESS: No excuses will be acceptable. We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof of illness, as we believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
    

死亡,除了你:这不是借口。但是,如果你可以安排好在下午稍晚些时候要举行的葬礼事宜,而且倘若你所有的工作都符合要求,我们可以允许你提前结束工作一个小时。

DEATH, OTHER THAN YOUR OWN: This is no excuse. If you can  arrange for  funeral services to be held late in the afternoon, however, we can let you off an hour early, provided all your work is up to date.
    

你的死亡:这个借口可以接受,但我们觉得你至少两个星期以前就该通知我们,至少你有责任将你的工作交接给别人。

DEATH, YOUR OWN: This will be accepted as an excuse, but we would like at least two weeks notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else your job.
    

个人卫生:将太多时间浪费在洗手间里。将来,我们会实行按字母顺序,例如,姓的第一个字母是“A”人允许在9:00——9:05这段时间去洗手间等等。如果你在指定的时间没能上厕所,那么你只好等到第二天,下一次轮到你的时候再去了。

PERSONAL HYGIENE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the washrooms. In the future, you will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order, for instance, those with surnames beginning with "A" will be allowed to go from 9:00-9:05, and so on. If you are unabl to go at your appointed time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your time comes around again.
   

工作量: 无论你做多少工作都是不够的。

QUANTITY OF WORK: No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough.
    

工作质量:可接受的最低限度是完美。

QUALITY OF WORK: The minimum acceptable level is perfection.
    

老板的忠告:如果早上遇到的第一件事就是吃掉了一只活的蟾蜍,那么一天当中再也没有比这更糟的事了。

ADVICE FROM OWNER: Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

    老板永远是对的。

THE BOSS IS ALWAYS RIGHT.

    如果老板错了,请参看第八项。
   WHEN THE BOSS IS WRONG, REFER TO RULE 8.

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