I wish I could be a bad guy.

我希望我能够变坏。或者说，希望自己不再被自己设下的种种道德标准所束缚。

我想换一种空气，摆脱枷锁，自由地翱翔。

一年前，璐璐姐说我心理负担太重，一年后，我依旧无法抛开那些我过早设立的行为准则。理智是对的，理智也是错的。错在，让我透不过气。于是，我狠心地告诉自己，就为所欲为吧。

然后，狠心不足于说服自己，摆脱不了的枷锁下只有一颗更不安分的心和无言的痛苦。

灯红酒绿的爱吧里面，我在想，为什么我就无法想某位同学一样，在这样的花花世界里面，醉生梦死，为所欲为，虽然我很想。

感情的世界里，我想过，为什么我就不能向前一步，虽然我也很想。

是我自己，自己布下各种阻碍自己前进脚步的所谓准则。

You konw? I knew it was you in the phone, I just didn't what I can talk to you,so I pretended not recognizing your voice at all. Something I was told gave me a straw to hold, but I found it somehow too heavy to hold.

I wish I could be  a bad guy, or, more exactly, I wish I could be a guy who has not that much rules. Then, I can go to you  without any fear or hesitation.

However, I am just who I am.

When I miss my stop, can I go round again?

It was you who told me that no one can find that he has missed the opportunity to have a happy ending as he has not even tried to make things happened.

Someday I may regret, someday I may be grateful. But,today, my heart tears apart.