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男士初次约会小提示

(2009-02-12 08:31:38)
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分类: sparetime
在社交中,要想得到一个令人满意的初次约会并不是多么困难的,如果那个约会不是太重要的话.对于女士们来说, 在最初相会的片刻,她们一般就能够判断出我们是否会接受第二次邀请,因此,无论是年纪轻的还是年纪大的男士们,都来读一下初次约会的基本生存指南吧.第一中的第一是:不要去看电影,不要”轧”太长的路或者把约会搞得太复杂.简单的一顿饭,或者如果条件允许的话,一次餐后小酌是你第一次约会的恰当节目.

一个人该遵循什么样的行为准则呢?划分拙笨和良好,吸引和排斥的细微界线在哪儿?这里有几个有用的小提示,我愿意与你们分享:

提示1:千万不要迟到

据现代心理学的理论,对一个人的看法是在会见的头15秒内形成的。所以,不要让她把这15秒花在无聊地等待中。女人们厌恶让她们等的人。(我只不过是偶然弹出了这个调调,但它仍然是关于女人的一个真理)。不,你不想让她呆在那儿想着去做别的有意义的事,而不是等你。因此,别迟到,没什么可说的。

提示2:提前计划好每一件事

你的约会计划(是的,是一个计划)的所有基本项目都必须经过认真思考。此外,最好为她的选择准备两个选项,只是防止她如果不想和你去做A活动,可以提供给她B活动.要依靠你对她的了解行事:如果你是在网上遇见的她,那么从你们的在线交流信息中了解她的背景和观点将会给你很多指导。还有,要记住她以前从未见过你,因此不要让她产生不安的感觉:一定不要考虑在偏僻的公园、墓地(就算是历史遗迹)和废弃的仓库约会。相会的地点必须是美妙、惬意和适度热闹的。博物馆(或类似的地方)会是一个好的选择,周围都是美丽的东西,你们将会有很多机会进行交谈。从那里开始,下一站你可以去饭店,或者是你计划好的任何一站。

提示3:看着要整洁

也许我不该告诉你这一点,也许你对这个简单的事实已有很好的了解,就是当你要去约会(特别是第一次约会)的进候,你看起来应该象是刚刚从最漂亮的名信片中跳出来的一样!不过,我无论如何还是要提到这一点,至少为了那些忘记了这一简单法则的人。当男人看来在注重仪表时,女人会高兴。当然,每件事都包括在内,每件事都会被注意到:服装、鞋子、头发、香味,甚至牙齿和指甲。毫无疑问,她在镜子前已经花了好几个小时,让自己显得很特别,所以,她希望你也一样!别误会,你不必在美容院里花一天时间,只要下一点功夫,你就会显得很迷人。淋浴、刮脸、没有皱纹的衣服和闪亮的鞋子都是让你自我感觉良好和赢得我上面提到的15秒的必要因素。

提示4:做个绅士

保持老派的方式:为她开门,让她先入座,为她拉出椅子等等。如果你有机会帮助她脱下(或穿上)外套,不要错过了,这是拥抱她的一个机会,是向正确方向迈出的一小步。所以,底线是:做个绅士,要敢于承认这一点:即使最坚定的女权主义者也会赞赏你作出的努力。

提示5:献花法则

女人喜欢在任何时节和任何场合收到礼物(当然也没必要总送)。这次约会是送给她礼物最好的理由!花束是一个很稳妥的选择。或许,一支红玫瑰更好(不必太多太惹眼)。大多数女人会赏识这种姿态。这会给她们一个理由向世界宣告她们遇到了一个优雅的男人。

提示6:少说多听

女人通常都想了你,但她们更愿意谈论自己。给她这个机会:提出问题并认真听她讲的所有事情。当然,你必须积极听讲,用简短的话支持她,如:“是吗?!”,“是,我明白”,“真有意思”还要不断地点头。如果轮到你讲话,谈论你的前妻和爱人,你的健康问题,工作中的问题或任何宗教主题都是一个不怎么样的想法。你的任务是要找到一个双方都有兴趣的话题(她正在谈论的)并延伸下去。盯着她的眼睛,微笑,展示给她良好的幽默感,并且要确定不要试图告诉她关于你的全部,把它留给你的第二次、第三次和她的约会吧,如果你遵循了这些简单的法则,当然不是问题。

提示7:勤恭维

这是每个女人都喜欢的和期待你的。你的第一句话(在经过正式介绍后)应该说她有多么高贵、多么灿烂、多么迷人。从某种意义上说,这是你在所有的聚会中都必须完成的一项任务:找到合适的时刻,一有机会就给予恰当的恭维。你的努力总是会得到赏识的。
Tips for a Man's First Date

The socially acceptable first date would not be so challenging if it weren't so darn important. For girls, they can usually tell within the first few moments of a rendezvous whether we will accept a second invite, so men young and old, read on for the basic survival guide to the “first date”. First things first. Avoid going to the movies, talking long walks or making the date too complicated. A simple dinner and if appropriated an after dinner drink is the right combination for the first time you meet.

What line of behavior one should take? Where is this thin line which divides goodness from awkwardness, attraction from repulsion? Here are seven useful tips, which I would like to share with you:

Tip 1: By no means do not get late

According to modern psychology an opinion about person is formed over the first 15 seconds of a meeting. Do not let her to spend these 15 seconds just dully waiting for you. Women hate when someone makes them wait (I made this rhythmic by a coincidence, but it is still a great truth about women). No, you do not want her to stay there and think about those million useful things, which she could do instead of waiting for you. So, just do not be late, period.

Tip 2: Plan everything ahead

All elements of your date program (yes, program), must be well thought. Moreover, it is better to have two options for her choice, just in case if she do not want to go with you to A, offer her to go to B. Rely on what you know about her: if you met her online, then knowing her profile and her own words from your online exchange will guide you. Still, remember that she has never seen you before, so don't try to freak her out: meeting in remote parks, cemeteries (even historical) and abandoned warehouses must be out of question. The meeting place must be nice, cozy and reasonably crowded. Museum (or something similar) would be a good choice, you will be surrounded by beautiful objects and you will have a decent chance to talk. From there you can offer next stop at a restaurant, or wherever you have planned the next stop.

Tip 3: Look neatly

Maybe I should not tell you that, maybe you are well aware of this simple fact, that when you are coming to a date (especially first date) you should look like you just jumped from a vintage postcard! Nevertheless, I have to mention this anyway, at least for the sake of those who forgot this simple rule. Women like when man looks like he took care of his appearance. Of course, everything counts and everything will be noticed: attire, shoes, hair, fragrance, even teeth and fingernails! Undoubtedly, she had spent several hours before mirror, making herself look special so she expects same from you! Do not get me wrong, you do not have to go for a day in a beauty parlor, just put some effort into it, so you will look attractive. Shower, shave, wrinkleless clothes and shiny shoes are those necessary elements which will make you feel good about yourself and help you to win those 15 seconds, which I have mentioned above.

Tip 4: Be gentleman

Just keep it old-fashioned way: open doors before her, let her first to the table, pool out a chair for her, etc. If you will have a chance helping her to take off (or put on) her coat: do not miss it, this is a chance to give her a hug, a small step in the right direction. So, the bottom line: be a gentleman, do not fear to be perceived as one: even a hard core feminist will appreciate your efforts

Tip 5: Flowers Rule!

Women love getting gifts on any season and occasion (and certainly with no occasion too). This date is the best reason for giving her a gift! The bouquet of flowers is a sure shot. Or, one red rose is even better (not too much and tasty). The majority of women will appreciate such gesture. This will give them a reason to tell the world that they have met a classy man.

Tip 6: Speak less, listen more

Women usually want to know about you, but even more they would like to tell about themselves. Give her this opportunity: ask questions and listen attentively everything she says. Of course, you have to listen actively, support her with short phrases, like "Is that right?!", "Yeah, I see", "Interesting" and keep nodding. If there will come your turn to talk, it is a bad idea to talk about your past wives and lovers, about issues with your health, about problems at work or on any religious subjects. Your task is to find a topic of mutual interest (while she is talking) and develop it. Look into her eyes, smile, show her a good sense of humor, and definitely do not try to tell her everything about yourself, leave it to your second, and third date with her, which will surely happen if you will follow these simple rules.

Tip 7: Be generous with compliments

This is what every woman would love and will expect from you. Your first words (after the formal intro) should be in any way saying how great, gorgeous, fantastic she looks. In a sense this is one of the tasks which you have to perform over all meeting: finding right moments and giving right compliments any time you have a chance. Your effort will be always appreciated.

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