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未命名系列2

(2011-04-05 22:02:07)
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小说

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翻译

中英

情感

分类: 我要写小说……
I slide open my cell phone. 3:10am. Phillip begins to snore loudly, which he never did before our wedding. Somehow I think of what mom used to say about dad, "His snore would only tell me that he feels safe and content." Mom never tells me why man feel that way, but hearing Phil snoring, I feel something hardening inside my chest.
我把手机滑开。3点10分。菲利普开始打呼噜了。而结婚之前,他从前不会打呼噜的。我莫名地想到了妈妈以前说爸爸的话,“他的呼噜声只可以告诉我他现在很踏实很满足。”妈妈从来没有告诉我为什么男人会觉得很踏实很满足,但是听到菲尔的呼噜声,我觉得我心里有些东西慢慢硬了起来。
How can I forget what he said at our wedding night: Lena I finally get you safe in my pocket. And I won't let you go again.
我怎么可以忘记他在新婚当晚所说的那些话:“蕾娜,我终于娶到你了。我再也不会让你走了。”
I wasn't melt by his words. Worse, I felt sick. Literally, because I had too much beer that day. I used to love beer, especially budweiser. But I guess everything has its upper limit, so is bud and Phil. The difference is, bud never break my heart. But Phil did.
我并没有感动的一塌糊涂。相反地,我觉得很恶心。我真的觉得恶心了,因为我当天喝了太多啤酒。而我一向是喜欢啤酒的,尤其是百威。但是我猜凡事都有一个上限,就连百威和菲尔也一样。区别在于,百威从来不会让我难过,而菲尔却达不成这种承诺。
I close my eyes and fall back into time. I see myself stunned at the opened door again, inside was Phil and Megan, whom I was so familiar with that I could tell their feet apart within the glance at the two bodies in bed.
我闭上眼睛沉入回忆之中。我看到自己又呆滞在了那扇开启的门前,门里的人是菲尔和梅根。多么熟悉的两个人!只要一眼,我就可以看出床上的两双脚各属于哪个人。
"Megan!!" I shouted out. I could even feel the whole apartment trembling with me. I never asked myself twice who she was. Megan and I have been friends for 10years' time. Friends since elementary school. I could almost tell how many freckles she had on her cheeks. And she always knew where to find the back-up key to my apartment. Ella never minded having another younger sister around but she also kept warning me to keep enough distance between me and Megan. "Always remember who's from your family and who's not."
“梅根!”我叫出了声。整座公寓仿佛都和我一起颤抖着。我不需要再次确认她是谁。梅根和我,从小学以来,10年的朋友。我几乎数的清她脸上的雀斑,而她总是知道在哪里找到我家的备用钥匙。艾拉并不介意多一个小妹妹,但她也从不间断地提醒我和梅根保持一定距离,“永远记得谁才是一家人。”
I did remember who's family. With Megan and Phil counted in.
我当然记得谁是我的家人。而这里面包括了梅根和菲尔。
"Holy shit. Lena?!?"Phillip quickly got down from Megan and looked at me with great panic.
“我擦!蕾娜?!”菲利普从梅根身上翻身下来,满脸惊恐地看着我。
I looked directly into his eyes,trying to find any sense of guilt. But what I saw in the eyes where I used to see tenderness and love, was only madness and desire. Plus some anger and terror. 我径直看着他的双眼,希望可以从中看到任何愧疚。但是那双曾经对我充满温柔的爱意的眼睛里,此时却只有癫狂和欲望,以及愤怒和恐惧。
I stepped forward, searching hard for any regret.
我上前一步,努力寻找那一丝,哪怕是一丝悔过。
Nothing.
什么都没有。
Megan squeezed herself into my blanket as if hiding behind would hide her body and her guilt. I knew she felt bad. I felt it the minute I called out her name. I didn't want any excuse from her. I knew she must have a good reason. Or so I thought at that time.
梅根将自己蜷缩在毯子下面,好像这种无谓的闪躲也可以隐藏她裸露的身体和内疚。我知道她很难过。我一叫出她名字就知道她很难过。梅根不需要给我任何解释。我知道她一定有她的理由。或者,至少我当时还是这样想的。

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