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我快发疯了!

(2007-10-13 19:40:33)
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 2007年9月10日
  学校早就开学了,我的病情却没有一点好转,昨天就已经没有吃放了,因为我胸口疼痛的非常厉害,把饭含在口里,就是吞不进去。我怕是活不下去了,妈妈到医院给我买了阿斯匹林,一天要吃上2颗,头晕晕的,喝水都疼。“人死的时候是什么样子?痛苦吗?死后又到了什么地方呢?”,这是我从得病就一直想的问题。以前,我是为了学习科学知识,我是一个唯物主义者,而现在,为了骗我自己,我希望自己变成一个唯心主义者,而我自己骗得了我自己吗?病情越来越严重了,呼吸困难的情况都出现了,骨骼疼痛。中午的时候,妈妈走到了我的床前,对我说,爸爸其实是一个孤儿,听完她说的话,我呆了。爸爸他们有6个兄弟姐妹,但是从我生病到现在,没有一个亲人去医院看我,他们给我的钱也没有超过一千元,他们还反对,爸爸妈妈给我治病,让我死在家里。我不是一个重点大学的学生,只是一名大专生,难道我就不是一个生命吗?他们不知道我上的是省重点中学,那个时候的我已经就是病入膏肓了,这是原因?借口?是的!是我不能进重点院校的原因。但是从我上大学后,家里的亲戚明显的离我家远了。
In 2007 September 10th
  The school has already school begins, but my condition have no some amendment, having not eat to put yesterday, because my chest ache of very severe, contain rice in, be swallow and go in.I am afraid is lived and don't descend to go to, mother arrived a hospital to buy an aspirin for me, wanting to eat for a day up 2, dizzy and dizzy of, drink waters all painful."What appearance is the time that the person die?Pain and sufferings?Clay-cold arrived again where?", This is I from become sick and has been think of problem.Before, I is for the sake of the study scientific knowledge, I was a materialist, but now, for cheating my oneself, I hoped the oneself became an only the heart doctrine, but can I cheat my oneself by myself?The condition was more and more serious, the circumstances of the dyspnea all appeared, skeleton ache.If the noon of time, mother walked to my before the bed, say to me, father is an orphan in fact, hear finish she say, I was foolish.Father has 6 brothers sisters, but from I get sick till now, have no a close relatives go to a hospital to see me, they give my money also didn't more than 1,000 dollars, they still are opposed to, father's mother give my cure, let me die in the home.I ain't a student of point university, just an university living, difficult way I isn't a life?They don't know what I ascend is the province point high school, that time of I have already been on the brink of death, is this a reason?Lend?Yes!It is the reason that I can't enter the point college.But from I after the university, the relatives of the home leave my house obviously far.
 
 

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