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Romance Needs A Bit of Arguing ——争吵使爱情更有味道

(2007-09-15 22:28:14)
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情感故事

分类: 英语阅读

Romance <wbr>Needs <wbr>A <wbr>Bit <wbr>of <wbr>Arguing <wbr>——争吵使爱情更有味道ONE couldn't help noticing this news story from Switzerland. A man got out of his car after having an argument with his partner. He then lay down on the pedestrian crossing to stop her from driving off, and was promptly run over by a passing car. You could say he lost that argument.
    瑞士这样一则新闻很容易抓住人的眼球:一名男子在车里和其女友发生争吵,该男子跳下汽车躺在马路上,企图阻止女友离开。结果一辆路过的汽车从他身上碾了过去。这次争吵,他输了。

 

On the other hand, you could also congratulate the couple on their arguing skills. This was arguing of the highest quality. Risk of death, a stubborn refusal to move, unnecessary involvement of innocent bystanders, even a trip to the hospital. What more could you want in an argument?
    但是,从另一方面来讲,大家也会赞叹这对恋人的吵架技巧。这是吵架的“至高境界”。他冒着受伤甚至死亡的危险,执拗地躺在原地一动不动,即便是把无辜的路人卷进来也在所不惜。吵架还有比这更高的“境界”吗?

 

It was indeed extreme arguing, pretty similar to extreme sports. Except for the fact that couples tend to do it together, and it's far more dangerous.
    如同极限运动一样,这种吵架走向了极端。不过,与极限运动不同的是,吵架是两个人一起吵,而且更危险。

 

It gives me no pleasure to admit there have been times in my life when I have experimented in the dark art of extreme arguing. Put me into the right situation and I am a great arguer. I might even be the best. When I told my ex-boyfriend about the man on the pedestrian crossing, he said if this had happened to us, it wouldn't have been an accident at all. It would have been suicide. We then had an argument about who had caused all our arguments. That was followed by another argument about who had started this argument. In the end it just became silly. Desperate to put an end to the bitterness, I accepted the blame, apologized for the hurt I had caused, and wished him all the best in life. If you believe that, you're not worth arguing with.
    有几次,我曾试着体验这种走向极端的争吵,但感觉一点也不好。在某些场合,我有可能成为一个“吵架能手”,甚至可能是最棒的。当我把那则新闻告诉我前男友时,他说如果这事发生在我们身上,那就不是一个事故了,而是自杀。接着,我们开始争论是谁引发了我们的“纷争”。然后,我们又围绕是谁挑起了争论而吵个不停。最后,吵架变得很滑稽。为了能结束“战争”,情急之下,我“承认”了错误,向他道歉,说了很多好话。

 

It seems that for some couples, arguing is like being in a war zone. It might be a good idea to have an Emotional UN for warring couples. It's always good to have a third party on hand to observe and advise. But then again, there is already plenty of helpful advice around. The problem is that most of the time it's not that helpful. For some of us, even pausing to reflect just gives us more time to think up great points to further our argument. That's the thing about extreme arguing. It never stops until you feel you've been crowned as King or Queen of Right.
    夫妻吵架好比是战争。这时候,就需要一个第三方介入。旁观者清,第三方可以提点建议,缓解气氛。不过,话又说回来,这样的建议其实到处都有,而大多数情况下这些建议是于事无补的。一些人会利用争吵暂停的短暂时间来琢磨如何支持自己的论点。这就是争吵走向极端的一种表现。只有等到自己的观点被尊为铁定的“真理”时,争吵才会终止。

 

But, most would agree that arguing can get completely out of hand. We have all been in situations where a small argument suddenly escalates into a huge one. Or, to be more precise, thousands of small ones glued together. By this point, both parties usually want out, but it's too late and all you can do is continue.
    大多数人认为争吵有可能失控。我们曾经历过很小的争吵突然升级失控的情况。或者准确地说,许多小的争吵最终酿成一个大规模的争端。在这种情况下,双方通常都有意退出,但为时已晚。他们只好把争吵继续下去。

 

The only thing worse than extreme arguing is not arguing at all. In my opinion, a couple who argue together stay together. As opposed to a couple who can't even be bothered to react any more. The trick is getting the right balance. Because, if allowed to run out of control, arguing can kill a romance. You then stop having arguments and start becoming them. Before long, it seems strange not to be having an argument, finally reaching the point where normal conversation is impossible. And all for what - at heart, is it really so important for you to be crowned the King or Queen of Right? Well, maybe it is - sometimes.
    吵架总要好于没有争吵。在我看来,经常有点磕磕碰碰的夫妻才能够长相厮守,而那些对对方的言行没有反应的夫妻是不能长久的。不过,争吵应当掌握好分寸。若情势失控,吵架可能会毁了爱情。两人不再拌嘴了,很快,双方会觉得无“仗”可打有点落寞,最终关系恶化,连正常的交谈也无法进行了。其实,平心而论,在争吵中“战胜”对手真的是那么重要吗?嗯,也许,有时很重要。
                            ——From No.589 21st Century

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