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Why Love

(2007-11-24 12:07:01)
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校园生活

 College years are considered to be the golden time for courting. But I wonder whether we college students know the true meaning of love. Many students don’t, they believe that happiness is just a sense of loving and being loved. As a result, they grow attached to each other. Yes, it is one result of love, and the most desirable one. However, this expectation is likely to become perseverance in the pursuit of love and result in love conflict.

   Each love course can be unique as each person is unique. Owing to different family backgrounds and pressures, everyone has his own history and future, and personal character. And love is supposed to savor life, to find our weakness, deficiencies and the true colors of humanity, to grow mature by learning, to grasp the true meaning of life, and to learn to free ourselves and requite others’ love in the process of courting.

   However, the majority of college students believe that campus love is just to find a partner to get rid of loneliness and boredom and enjoy happiness. Yes, if both of the two are of mature mentality and strong willingness to love, love can be raised to a higher level –to enjoy happiness. Yet, many college students do not treasure the happiness from love, instead, they are favor of nit-picking their boyfriend or girlfriend and demanding more and more things. Therefore, “love passionately today, break up tomorrow” is understandable. In my eyes, these students totally misunderstand the true meaning of love. After all, we come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. Love is to cultivate ourselves. It is only when we have seen through and perfected ourselves that our love is worthy.

   To view from the perspective as a college student, I dare not assert whether it is right to court during college years. But I have a feeling that as college students stepping into the society, it is our responsibility to adopt a serious attitude towards campus love. Many college students become depressed after their first love comes to an end. As a matter of fact, I think it is unnecessary to be depressed at all. In my opinion, first love is just encountering a right or wrong person when you long for courting. As far as first love is concerned, it tells us what is not love rather than what is love. So we do not need to care too much about the failure of first love.

   Love is really beautiful, as Kahlil Gibran once wrote:

   To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

   To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;

   To return home at eventide with gratitude;

   And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

   So do not lose the chance when you know who is suited to you temperamentally. Love starts when another person’s needs become more important than your own. Once we know the true meaning of love, we are supposed to treasure it.

 

    应该说,大学是谈恋爱的黄金时期。但是我们大学生真的知道什么是爱吗?很多人都搞错了,以为恋爱就是为了得到被爱和爱人的幸福,所以很重视对方的存在。对,这是恋爱的其中一种结果,也是最为人期望的结果。不过,这期望容易演变成执着地想拥有对方,而衍生大部分的爱情冲突。

    每段恋爱过程都可以很独特,因为每个人都很独特,我们有着各自的过去和未来,所承受的家庭背景和压力,还有个人性格上的好坏。恋爱,本来就是去体味人生,从自己在独特的对方身上所投射的欲望,看清楚自己的限制、弱点,和人性的真面目,从学习中成长,体验来此生真正的意义,也从付出的过程中学习自我放下和感恩。

    可是我们大部分大学生都认为恋爱只是找个深爱的人,和他在一起,不再孤单,享受幸福。对,当你和对方都有成熟的爱的能力和意愿的时候,爱是可以提升到享受快乐的层次的。可是很多大学生不懂得珍惜这些快乐,在相处过程中只顾挑剔和要求,老是不知足。于是,“今天恋爱,明天分手”就不奇怪了。我觉得这些人误解了爱的真正意义。毕竟,相爱不是为了找到一个完美的人,而是学会以完美的眼光看待一个不完美的人。爱的本身是个人的修行。你得从爱中看穿和修理自己,才算没错过爱。

    站在一个大学生的角度,我不敢断言大学生的恋爱是对还是错。我只是觉得,即将踏入社会的我们,对待爱情,更应该谨慎。好多大学生在经历失败的初恋后,变得很沮丧,意志消沉,其实完全不必。我个人认为,初恋很简单,不过是在想要恋爱的时间,碰到一个正确的或错误的人罢了。所谓初恋,往往不是教你什么是爱,而是教你什么不是爱。所以,我们没有必要过分在意初恋的失败。

    爱是十分美好的事物,就像卡里"纪伯伦写的那样:

    清晨,带着一颗雀跃的心醒来,感谢又一个充满爱的日子;

    午休,沉思爱的心旷神怡;

    黄昏,带真感激之情回家;

    睡前,为你心中的挚爱祈祷,唇间吟诵着赞美诗。

    因此,请你不要轻易错过与你情投意合的人。当你觉得另一个人的需要比自己的重要时,爱情就开始了。当你真正了解到什么是爱时,相信你会珍惜它。

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