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长相

(2007-11-02 01:46:02)
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学习公社

喜欢男人的这种智慧,算存档吧。
 
问:我24岁,但是怎么看怎么像14岁。就因为我看上去太小,我很难吸引女孩子,上高中的时候就失去了很多机会。我很努力,试过很多不同的‘约会服务’方式,但都不成功。我还能怎么办?
答:生活可以很残酷。我们年轻的时候,总想自己看上去老成一些才好。我们迫不及待地盼着我们成熟、有见识的那一天的到来。可是,当我们真的到了45岁,如果有人把我们说得比实际年龄小上一两岁,心里别提多美了。
 
我不想骗你,或者让你信服‘长相不重要’。虽然,这个世界在很多方面都在进步,但是,我们的文化依然卡在‘外表’上。好消息是,和男人们不同,女人们好像不仅仅被长相吸引。所以,别灰心,情况在逐渐变好。(俺就喜欢这个男专栏作家开诚布公的方式。)
 
多数情况下,女性对吸引她们的质量更在意。她们开始注意男人是否以及如何照顾自己。她们会想,‘他连自己都不会照顾,那我怎么能确认他以后能好好照顾我?’她们甚至观察他怎么对待他妈。
 
她们在寻找的男人是这样的:坚强但不会无动于衷,敏感但不强迫。换句话说,她们在寻找当外表的光华退去,当年牛顿在苹果树下想出来的重力学定律在我们身上产生实际效果以后,那些依然存在的品质。
 
相信我,情况会越来越好,因为随着时间的推移,对成熟女人来说,男人的品质越来越有吸引力,而经典的外表对她们越来越不重要了。
 
你现在能做的,就是开始培养那些在未来的岁月里能够发光的个性和魅力。
 
Lift can be cruel. When we're young we want to look older. We can hardly wait for the day when we finally arrive, when we are considered mature and worldly. Then, before we can say, "I'm 45," we're absolutely flattered that someone might mistakenly guess our age even a year or two less than we actually are.
 
I'm not going to lie to you, or try to convince you that looks aren't important. Even though in some ways the world has evolved, our culture is still obessed with appearance. The good news is that, unlike men, women don't seem to be nearly as smitten by good looks alone. So don't give up. It gets better.
 
In most cases females are far more pragmatic about the qualities that they are attracted to. They start to notice if and how a man takes care of himself. They ask themselves questions like, "if he can't take care of himself, how can I be sure he could ever take care of me?" They may even go out of their way to notice how he treats his mother.
 
They're looking for a man who's solid but not immovable, sensitive but not a pushover. In other words, they are seeking character traits that will be around when the looks fade, and gravity starts to become more than a word we associated with an apple tree, and a guy named Newton.
 
Bear with me, it gets even better, because as each year goes by, these attributes seems to get more and more appealing, and classic good looks become less important to a mature woman.
 
As for what you can do right now - you can start to build the qualities and character that are going to make you shine in the coming years.

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