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GET THE KNACK OF CHANGE (130)

(2009-05-09 13:59:11)
分类: 巨人的脚步

THE SCIENCE OF SUCCESS CONDITIONING

Have you ever noticed how,when people get injured and are waited on hand and foot,sometimes their injuries don’t heal as quickly?Although what they want is to recover from the injury,the pleasure of receiving all that loving attention,and the permission to relax,may unconsciously delay or prevent their healing.When people derive a secondary benefit from the very painful behavior or emotion they’re trying to change,this is called secondary gain.This need to preserve the secondary benefit is often one of the greatest inhibitors of lasting change.

What hidden benefits might you drive from a behavior you know you should change?How attractive are they when weighed against the pain you know this behavior has caused you in the past,present,and future?

你可曾注意到,受了伤的人受到精心照顾,有时他们的伤好得并不快?虽然他们确实想恢复健康,可是接受各方的关爱带来的快乐,许可的身心放松,可能不知不觉地延缓或有碍于他们的痊愈。人们从正在试图改变的非常痛苦的行为或感情中的到某种上面所说的类似快乐放松的收益,就叫第二种收益。人们想保留第二种收益的需要,常常是持久改变的最大阻碍之一。

想一想,在你认为应该改变的一种行为中,你可能得到什么潜在的好处?比起这种行为在过去、现在和未来带给你的痛苦,这种好处有多大的吸引力?

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