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国外幽默故事（笑话）集锦（441~445）

（英汉对照）

“Laughter, the Best Medicine.

Cry, but also medicine.”

“笑是良药。哭，也是良药。”

Contract Sport

Not everyone who comes into the bookstore where I work is aware that it’s a specialty shop with a rather limited range of subjects.One afternoom, a man asked if we had any books on bridge.

“I’m sorry,”I told him, “We sell ony science fiction and fantasy.”

Grinning, he replied, “You haven't seen my wife play bridge.”

——Contributed by Tanya Huff

441.契约体育

不是每一个来我上班的书店的人都知道这是个专业商店，其经营的范围很有限。一天下午一个男子问我们有没有桥方面的书。

“对不起，”我告诉他，“我们只卖科学小说和幻想小说。”

他露齿而笑地回答道： “你们不明白我妻子玩桥牌。”

——坦尼娅.胡夫提供

No Frills

On May 15, 1930,the first airline stewardesses boarded planes with the following set of instruction, notes an early Stewardess Manual:

● Keep the clock and altimeter wound up.

● Carry a railroad timetable in case the plane is ground.

● Warn the passengers against throwing their cigars and cigarettes out the windows.

● Keep an eye on passengers when they go to the lavatory to be sure they don’t mistakenly go out the emergency exit.

442.不提供不必要服务

1930.5.15.世界上第一个航空公司的空姐们登机时须带如下一份工作指南，即是最早的空姐手册：

● 谨防时钟和高度计损坏。

● 带一份火车时刻表，以免飞机误点。

● 警告乘客不要把雪茄和香烟从窗户扔出去。

●旅客上厕所时要留心，确保其不要错误的从太平门出去。

An admissions interview

We were taking our son to a prestigious university for an admissions interview.On the way, my husband drilled him on how to conduct himself during the interview and on the importance of getting into an excellent engineering school.

When we arrived, our teen-ager hesitated a moment before entering the building. “Dad,”he asked, “why do I want to be an engineer?”

——Contributed by Victoria Garth

443.一次入学面试

我们带儿子去一名牌大学进行入学面试。在路上，我丈夫训练他面试时如何把握好自己以及进入这所名牌工程学校的重要性。

我们到达时，我们的孩子进入大楼前犹豫了一会儿。 “爸爸，”他问，“为什么我要成为一名工程师呢？”

——维多利亚.加斯提供

Ignorance is bliss

Two students at North Carolina State University took a textile chemistry course together.One day I heard them discussing the poor grades their whole class received on an exam.

“Do you think the professor will grade on the curve?”one asked.

“No,”the other replied, “not after the comment he made when handing back the tests.”

“What comment was that?”

“If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more of you smiling?”

——Contributed by Susan A.Johnson

444.无知是福

两个美国北卡罗来纳州大学的学生一起进修纺织化学科。一天我听他们议论他们全班在一次考试中的成绩很惨。

“你认为教授会在评分中搞鬼吗？”一个问。

“不会的，”另一个回答，“不久他会在退还考卷时另作评判的。”

“那会怎么评判呢？”

“如果无知是福的话，你为什么不多一点微笑呢？”

——苏珊.A.约翰逊提供

Faculty senate meeting

    Faculty senate meeting at Texas Christian University in Fort Worth were usually long and boring.One day I overheard an art professor trying to persuade a music instructor to accompany him. “It might not last too long,”he said, “and something important could happen.”The music professor’s resistance was worn down. “I’ll go,”he said, “but only if we sit in the back and you draw funny pictures the way you did the last time.”

——Contributed by Perri Eason

445.教授参议会

位于德克萨斯州华兹堡市的基督教会大学的教授参议会通常开得又长又乏味。一天我听一位艺术教授试图说服音乐讲师陪着他去。“那不可能开得太长，”他说，“会有重要的事情发生，”音乐讲师拗不过。“我会去的，”他说，“而且只要我们坐在后面，你就花些有趣的画，这种方法也可以消磨时间。”

——博瑞.伊森提供

译自<Reader’s Digest> Vol.32  No.796 August 1988）