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国外幽默(笑话)集锦(311~314) (英汉对照)

(2009-08-30 09:57:53)
标签:

大名

逃出

卷发

破绽

分类: 故事

 

国外幽默(笑话)集锦(311~314) <wbr>(英汉对照)

国外幽默(笑话)集锦(311~314

(英汉对照)

 

Laughter, the Best Medicine.

“笑是良药。”

 

My name

I was manager of the recreation building at Grove City College in Pennsylvania. My name, J. W.Shorts , appeared my office door, just outside the gymnasium. I often heard students laughing at my name. But they really had reason to be amused when they found out that the “J” stands for James and everyone calls me “Jim”.

——Contributed by James W. Shorts

国外幽默(笑话)集锦(311~314) <wbr>(英汉对照)

格罗夫城市中心

311.我的大名

我是宾夕法尼亚州格罗夫城市学院康乐大厦的管理员。我的名字叫J. W. Shorts,名字就附在我办公室的门上,而我的办公室刚好就在健身房的外面。我经常听到学生们笑话我的名字;不过他们真的是有理由被逗笑的*。但是当他们发现那个“J”是代表“詹姆斯”#时,每个人就都亲昵地叫我“吉姆”。

(注1.* Shorts在英文里是指男人的内短裤的意思,所以学生们见了就会发笑。

2.(奥兰多综合电)虽然有常规赛最佳成绩及最有价值球员小皇帝詹姆斯(James)助阵,但克利夫兰骑士(Cleveland Cavaliers)却在前天的美国职业篮球季后赛(NBA Playoffs)东岸决赛中,以90103不敌主场作战的奥兰多魔术(Orlando Magic),与总决赛无缘。可见,詹姆士是个号称“小皇帝”的有名的篮球队员。

 ——詹姆斯.W. 朔慈提供

国外幽默(笑话)集锦(311~314) <wbr>(英汉对照)

My only means of escape

In order to get a parking space at Arkansas State University, one has to arrive nearly an hour before classes start. One morning I work up late and noticed that the fuel gauge on my diesel-powered Toyota indicated empty. To assure myself a space, I decide to wait until after classes to fill up.

When I got campus, the only spot to be found was a tight squeeze between two cars parked outside the marked lines. I maneuvered into the cramped space and shut off the engine, only to find that I couldn’t open the door to get out. When I turned the key and heard the engine grind over and over, I knew I was out of fuel.

My only means of escape was through the sun roof: I opened it, shoved my books out and then raised myself through the tiny opening. As my head emerged, I was greeted with a round of applause and shouts of “Pop Goes the Diesel!”

——Contributed by Mary L. Sparks

国外幽默(笑话)集锦(311~314) <wbr>(英汉对照)

312.我唯一逃出的办法

为了能在阿肯瑟州州立大学获得停车位,你就必须在上课开始前差不多一小时就得到达。一天早晨,我醒来得迟了,我的柴油驱动的丰田汽车的油表指示油不多了。为了确保我有停车位,就决定等下课后在加油。

当我到了校园的时候,能找到的唯一停车点是停在停车线外面的两辆汽车之间的一块很狭窄的地方。我把车开进那块狭窄的地方,关了发动机。没想到我竟不能够开门出去。当我发动汽车时,听见发动机只是一再的干磨,我知道没油啦。

我唯一逃出的办法就是从顶风窗钻出去。我打开顶风窗,把我的书籍胡乱推出去,然后提升自己穿过那个狭小的窗口。当我刚把头伸出去,就受到了雷鸣般的掌声和“特色人物进了柴油车!”的驚天动地的欢呼声的迎接。

——玛丽. L.斯帕克斯提供

国外幽默(笑话)集锦(311~314) <wbr>(英汉对照)国外幽默(笑话)集锦(311~314) <wbr>(英汉对照)

Little guy with curly hair?

Once when I was doing homework while on my job at the North Texas State University racquetball courts, a student walked up to me to check in. He showed me his ID card, and then asked what I was reading.

“American literature…Walt Whitman,” I replied.

“Little guy with curly hair?” he asked. “Worst teacher I ever had. He gave me a D.”

——Contributed by Daniel W. Ferguson

国外幽默(笑话)集锦(311~314) <wbr>(英汉对照)

沃尔特.惠特曼

313小家伙留的卷发是吧?

一次我正在做家庭作业,而那一段时间我还在北得克萨斯州的州立大学壁球场做管理工作。一位学生走到我跟前登记签到。他给我看了他的身份证,然后问我在读什么。

“美国文学作品……沃尔特.惠特曼”我回答。

“小家伙留的卷发是吧?”他问,“我遇到过的最差的教师,他给了我一个梦。”

——丹尼尔. W. 费格森提供

国外幽默(笑话)集锦(311~314) <wbr>(英汉对照)

Recognition fracture

My mother was Barbara Britton, the actress who played Pam North on the TV series “Mr. and Mrs. North.” Her retreat was an antique shop my father had bought her in Connecticut.

Father was very proud of Mother, regaling customers with stories of her achievements. One day a young couple came in. While my mother was showing the wife an item, my farther pointed out to the husband some of Mother’s theatrical memorabilia.

At length, my mother looked up and saw the husband for the first time. Father was expounding on the glamour of being in pictures. With a light touch on his arm, Mother said sweetly, “Yes, dear. Mr. Redford acts in movies also.”

——Contributed by Ted Britton Czukor

国外幽默(笑话)集锦(311~314) <wbr>(英汉对照)   国外幽默(笑话)集锦(311~314) <wbr>(英汉对照)

巴巴拉布里顿

314.看出破绽

我母亲是巴巴拉布里顿*,她是在电视剧《诺斯先生和夫人》中扮演帕姆. 诺斯的女演员。她的引退是因为父亲给她在康涅狄格州买了个古董店。

父亲很是以母亲为荣,经常用她成功的传奇故事娱乐顾客。一天来了一对年轻的夫妇。我母亲正给妻子看一件东西,我父亲却把丈夫引向母亲演戏的大事记。

终于我母亲抬起头第一次看见那位丈夫。父亲则以电影里人物的那种魅力详细讲解着。母亲轻轻地抚摸着他的手臂,亲切地说:“是的,亲爱的。瑞弗德先生在电影里也是这么表演的。”

——特德. 布里顿Czukor提供

注:*巴巴拉布里顿 1919926- 1980年1月17)是电影和电视演员。

(译自 Vol.32  No.794 June 1988

国外幽默(笑话)集锦(311~314) <wbr>(英汉对照)

 

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