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节日

(2008-12-24 22:20:29)
标签:

我要做我自己

公公去世

情感

分类: 滋长心灵

   从来不知道原来不过节日还好,节日中的我发现特别的孤单,生命如一道风景线。昨天去总部在车上也是不由泪水直流,不知从何时起总是这么的多愁善感,不知从何时起总是这么容易动情,如果可以我想选择没有那个何时,如果可以我想选择没有遇到你,如果可以我想选择我的生命充满阳光,如果可以选择我想我的生命没有来过,总会梦到同样的人,总会想着深处的事,有时候好想好想和公公就这样离开啊!真的,没有这么多的烦忧,没有这么多的泪水与苦涩,没有那么多的情深。为什么要遇到你,为什么要让我喜欢你,付出起为什么又丢下我。看着街上车来车往,离离走走,发现没有任何的节日情节。节日对于我来说发现更加的孤单,更加的难受。为什么眼泪总是不听自己的,为什么时间总是无法让人忘记。为什么总是有这么多的人让我们伤心,难受,让我们觉得内心的伤痛,让我们体会到折磨与艰熬。为什么我们每个人不让我们在对的时间遇到对的人,为什么要进到我内心深处去,为什么要把比哥哥还深的爱给了你,为什么?为什么要让我无法再喜欢别人,为什么要变得这么自私。为什么让我变得这么伤感,为什么让我总是身不由已,为什么总是让我找不到恨你的理由,为什么总是让我无法忘记你的事情,为什么,老天爷告诉我答案好吗?难道我这一生就这样一个人孤单无助的过完我的一生吗?难道我就这样每次一个人在外过着漂泊的生活吗?过年也是一个人,过节也是一个人,什么时候有我二个人的世界!再过三年,还是过三十年!我等不起,我也输不起,我更陪不起~爸爸妈妈好想你们,好想你们啊~外表坚强的我,喜欢思考的我,分析问题核心的我,发现内心却是如玻璃般易碎。听着这些歌,想想目前的自己,苦和泪流下了什么?为什么现在的一切经过一年的时间却物是人非了,为什么?为什么只有我在孤单的听着歌掉着眼泪,说好不哭却发现这么难!说好不见却发现此时的自己已泪流满面,说好要快乐的,为什么总是找不到我自己,为什么总是快乐不起来,这什么总是找不到理由开心,却是那么多的理由难受,不写了,免得更伤心。明天和哥哥他们去学会聚聚去,也放松放松自己,也让自己结识些朋友。哥哥说得没错不要总是封闭自己,把心打心也许能收获很多的。明天准备送哥哥条围巾,反正已织在那里了。今年还好些没有去年冷,想想去年也不知道怎么过来的。我不要我再也不要回到那个时候的我了,我不要孤单,我不要,我害怕孤单的滋味,我害怕夜晚,我害怕一个人的生活,我害怕,我不要一个人,我不要睡觉时的梦,我不要做梦我不要,连梦里都是泪水直流,连梦里都是那么的痛苦难受~如果可以我不要~

Never know originally however festival O.K., my detection in the festival special of solitary, life such as a scenery line.Yesterday go to headquarters is also not from the tears direct current on the car, don't know from when always so touchy-feely, don't know from when always so easy feel attracted, if can I think choice have no that when, if can I think choice to don't meet you, if can I think choice my life to be full of sunlight, if can choice my missing my life have never come, dream in the head quarter arrive same of person, the head quarter think deep the business of place, sometimes really want to really want with grandfather so leave!True of, there are no so many vexed sorrow, there are no so many tears with bitter and astringent, there is no so many deep love.Why want to meet you, why want to let me like you, pay since why throw down me again.Looking at in the street a car to come to car to go toward, leave to walk, the detection have no of festival details.The festival say for me that discover more of solitary, Be getting more suffered.Tears why always don't listen to oneself of, why time always can't let the person forget.Why always have so many people to make us sad, suffered, let us feel distress of heart, let us realize the molestation and the Jian cook.Our everybody why don't let we at rightness of time meet rightness of person, why want to enter into my heart deep place to, why want than the elder brother return deep of love give you, why?Why want to can't let me like other people again, why want to become so selfish.Why let me become so sad, why let I always body not from already, why always let me can not find to hate you of reason, why always can't let me forget you of affair, why, the god tell my nswer good?Difficult way I this whole life so a personal solitary helpless finish lead my whole life?Difficult way I so every time a person at outside live to drift on water of life?New Year's Day is also a person and observe a festival is also a person, when have me two people's world!Again lead three year, still lead for 30 years!My etc. not, I also lose not, I accompany more not~the father mother miss you so much and miss you so much~the outward appearance be strong of I, like to consider of I, analysis problem core of I, detection heart but is as glass easy ground.Listen to these songs, wanted current oneself, bitterness and tears to flow bottom what?Now why of the whole through a year but thing is a person not, why?Why only I at solitary of listen to song drop to fix attention on tears, say that don't cry very much but the detection be so difficult!Say good disappear but detection at this time of oneself have been tears cover the face and say good want happiness of, why always can not find myself, why always happiness don't get up, this what always can not find reason happy, but is so many reason suffered, don't write, in case sader.Tomorrow and elder brother go to academic association to get together go to, also relax oneself, also let oneself become friends with some friend.The elder brother say right don't always close himself/herself, pair of heart dozen heart perhaps ability results a lot of of.Tomorrow prepare to send an elder brother scarf and anyway have already knit over there.This year O.K. some have no last year cold, want last year also don't know how to come over.I don't want me any further don't return to that time of I, I don't want solitary, I don't want, I frightened solitary of taste, I frightened night, I frightened a person of life, I frightened, I don't want a person, I don't want sleeping of dream, I don't want to dream me don't , connect is all tears direct current in dream, connect dream inside all so of pain and sufferings suffered~if can I don't want~

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