Recently, I start to feel the surroundings so ridiculous that I do not know what to say or what to do. I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry, and I am stuck in a pretty mixed circumstance that I don’t know what is right. Whatever this world changes, there is still someone that do not have the sense to care for others’ feeling, what others think about. Do those people ever hear about a word called self-respect? Do those people ever do some THINGS that really make sense? This is a kind of strange feeling mixed by lots of feelings, and it is not exactly positive nor exactly negative, but to the great sorrow, I am now in a mood filled with blank without any emotion in it, maybe that is numb. It is said that if one holds a dream at heart and won’t mind anything even though it is disgusting, and all he will do is to do everything related to his big dream. In another word, it is not a satisfying phenomenon that one becomes numb, without any special and intensive emotion to things happened around.

One of my best friends said that he did not have the strong feeling to music any more and this made him scared and weird. Anesthesia is really a horror thing, and it makes one’s life gloomy and dull. Whenever I meet this situation, I always want to find a dagger to poke through my heart and stimulate myself to be more active and sensitive.

Today I went to a book store and bought a book written by Xiaobo Wang, a writer adored by someone, and a sea of books on IELTS writing. How crazy and odd I am.

I change the background music to this one—Here with me, sang by Dido. I was touched by the movie LOVE ACTUALLY, especially the Mr. Enough. “Enough, that’s enough.” The most impressive lyrics is “Oh I am what I am, I’ll do what I want. But I can’t hide.” I AM doing what I want without minding others’ opinion. I love dashing down along the Yat-sen Road, and I love chatting with my dear companion Yishion and love talking whatever we want and guffawing or smirking or giggling even sneering whenever we want. I love to practice speaking Portuguese loudly with my friends and overlook others’ odd gaze. I am who I am. I do try my best to realize my dream. AZA fighting~HAHA~