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经典英文幽默句子(转贴)

(2007-08-23 02:01:59)
经典英文幽默句子(转贴)
 
 Money is not everything. There‘s Mastercard & Visa.
钞票不是万能的,有时还需要信用卡.
 
One should love animals. They are so tasty.
每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃.
 
Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
要节约用水,尽量和女友一起洗澡.
  
Love the neighbor. But don‘t get caught.
要用心去爱你的邻居,不过不要让她的老公知道.
  
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every   unsuccessful man, there are two.
每个成功男人的背后都有一个女人,每个不成功男人的背后都有两个女人。
  
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚,幸福不是永久的嘛.
  
The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise.
聪明人都是未婚的,结婚的人很难再聪明起来.
  
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
成功是一个相关名词,他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚(联系).
  
Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
不要等明天交不上差再找借口, 今天就要找好.
  
Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
爱情就象照片,需要大量的暗房时间来培养.
  
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.
后排座位上的小孩会生出意外, 后排座位上的意外会生出小孩.
  
 "Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep.
 "现在的梦想决定着你的将来",所以还是再睡一会吧.
  
There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
应该有更好的方式开始新一天,而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来.
  
"Hard work never kills anybody." But why take the risk? "
努力工作不会导致死亡!"不过我不会用自己去证明.
  
"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! "
工作好有意思耶!"尤其是看着别人工作.
  
God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.
神决定了谁是你的亲戚,幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。
  
When two‘s company, three‘s the result!
两个人的状态是不稳定的,三个人才是!
  
A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.
服饰就象铁丝网,它阻止你冒然行动,但并不妨碍你尽情地观看.
  
   The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn.
   学的越多,知道的越多, 知道的越多;忘记的越多, 忘记的越多;知道的越少, 为什么学来着?!
 
We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years.
我们度过了八个月幸福的婚姻生活,不过不幸的是,我们已经结婚四年半了。
- Nick Faldo
-
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
懒惰不就是在你还没有累之前先休息嘛。
- Jules Renard

I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
我做好了准备去见我的造物主了。但是他是否准备好承受见我的那种折磨就是另外一回事
了。
- Sir Winston Churchill

After two years in Washington, I often long for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood.
在华盛顿住过两年以后,我常常对在好莱坞的现实主义和真诚的生活充满了渴望。
- Fred Thompson

USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.
今日美国又出了一项新的调查——据说每四个人挑三个出来就组成了百分之75的人口!
- David Letterman

Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes.
算术,就是不用脱鞋就能够数到20。
- Mickey Mouse

The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action.
我最不信任的人就是那些想要为大家谋福利的但是只能为大家中的一个人谋福利的人!
- Frank Herbert

Some things have to be believed to be seen.
有些事情得相信了才看得到。
- Ralph Hodgson
-
A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.
自由党人就是思想太开明而在论战中没立场的人。
- Robert Frost

Television news is like a lightning flash. It makes a loud noise, lights up everything around it, leaves everything else in darkness and then is suddenly gone.
电视新闻就像一道闪电一样,瞬间发出很大声响,照亮旁边的一切,照不到的一切都在黑暗中,然后忽然,就消失了。
- Hodding Carter

I hate television. I hate it as much as I hate peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts.
我讨厌电视。就好像我讨厌花生一样讨厌它。不过我从来都克制不了吃花生。
- Orson Welles 

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.
我只是一个困在女性躯体里面的人。
- Elaine Boosler

He who praises you for what you lack wishes to take from you what you have.
夸奖你没有的那些美德的人是想要拿走你已经有的。
- Don Juan Manuel

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
重要的是别停止质疑。
- Albert Einstein

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