自由
（查尔斯·布可夫斯基/作，张文武/译）
28号，他整晚都在
喝酒，他一直在想她：
她走路、谈话和爱的方式
她对他说那些貌似真话的假话的
方式，他知道她每条裙子
和每双鞋子的
颜色——他知道她每只鞋的后跟
和它的弧线
以及它衬托出的腿的轮廓。
当他回家时，她又出去了，
回来后又是一身恶臭，
她是这样
凌晨3点回来
像一头吃屎的猪一样肮脏
而他
拿出屠刀
她尖叫
退到里屋的墙边
仍然有些漂亮
尽管浑身臭气
然后他喝完杯中酒。
那件黄色裙子
他最喜欢的
她再次尖叫。
然后他拿起刀
然后把它从腰带上取下来
然后在她面前把衣服撕碎
然后割掉自己的睾丸。
然后把它们拿在手里
像杏子
一道红光闪过，它们被扔进
马桶
而她继续尖叫
整个屋子红了
上帝啊上帝！
你都做了些什么！
而他坐在那里，拿着三条毛巾
捂住双腿之间
也不管她现在是去
还是留
是穿黄还是戴绿或者
别的什么。
一只手捂着，另一只手
拿起酒瓶，他又倒了
一杯酒
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he drank wine all night of
the
28th, and he kept thinking of her:
the way she walked and talked and loved
the way she told him things that seemed true
but were not, and he knew the color of each
of her dresses
and her shoes-he knew the stock and curve of
each heel
as well as the leg shaped by it.
and she was out again and when he came home,and
she'd come back with that special stink again,
and she did
she came in at 3 a.m in the morning
filthy like a dung eating swine
and
he took out a butchers knife
and she screamed
backing into the rooming house wall
still pretty somehow
in spite of love's reek
and he finished the glass of wine.
that yellow dress
his favorite
and she screamed again.
and he took up the knife
and unhooked his belt
and tore away the cloth before her
and cut off his balls.
and carried them in his hands
like apricots
and flushed them down the
toilet bowl
and she kept screaming
as the room became red
GOD O GOD!
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
and he sat there holding 3 towels
between his legs
no caring now whether she left or
stayed
wore yellow or green or
anything at all.
and one hand holding and one hand
lifting he poured
another wine
Charles Bukowski |
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