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《劳拉》-109页

(2007-02-07 11:36:32)
分类: 翻译小说
  她静静穿着衣服,背靠着他。她的身体发生了新的活动而略感疼痛,还没有习惯那种阵痛。她转开眼睛不看那斑迹。按着时尚,她把腹带紧束到最难忍的部位。她觉得,她的样子看上去一定是蓬头垢面的。不知道怎样向可怜的梅利解释她耽搁了那么长的时间,多少还有她的样子。  
  不像她那样,卡巴顿没用多长时间就穿好了衣服。在昏暗的窗户旁他抽着烟,而她还在穿衣服。   
  他为自己缺乏尊严而感到恶心。他佞媾天真的女人,所有这一切都是因为她的态度刺伤了他的自尊。如此竭尽激情的结果似乎是很可卑的理由。以前他从来不知道如此的快乐。至少他也没有给予过她,不管他要求她回报的代价。她不再是处女了,还有怀孕的危险。他玷污了她和他自己的尊严。   
  "我们现在离开吗?"她问,用一种苍白而压抑的声调。  
  转过身,看着她的脸部的表情,他畏缩了。已经不是那个第一次来特勒蒙农场的自信傲慢年轻的女人了。这是一个羞涩不安的姑娘,那些罪恶和羞辱都清楚写在她的沮丧的脸上。  
  她和他一起动身,他为她开门,踌躇着。  
  "我没想到会发生这事,"他平静地说。"即使你不相信其它的事,应该相信这个。"  
  她点点头,没有抬起她的眼睛。  
  "我会对你负责的,"他僵硬地说,"如果需要的话。"  

  She dressed in silence, with her back to him. Her body ached from the new exercise it had performed, and there was a soreness that was unfamiliar. There were stains, too, from which she averted her eyes. The hardest part was fastening the corset, which she managed after a fashion. She felt, and certainly looked, disheveled. She didn’t know how she was going to explain her long absence to poor Melly, much less her appearance.
  Cal took much less time than she did to pull on his clothing. He was smoking a cigarette by the dingy window when she was through.
  He felt sickened at his lack of honor. He had seduced an innocent woman, and all because his pride had been stung by her attitude. It seemed a poor excuse now, in the aftermath of such exhausting passion. He had never known such pleasure before. At least he had given her that as well, despite the price he had exacted from her in return. She was no longer virginal, and there was the risk of a child. He had dishonored her and himself. 
  "Could we leave now…please?" she asked in a pale, subdued tone. 
  He turned, wincing at the expression on her face. Gone was the confident, faintly arrogant young woman who had first come to the Tremayne ranch. This was a shy and insecure girl, whose guilt and shame were clearly written on her downcast face. 
  He opened the door for her, hesitating when she came even with him.  10
  "I did not mean it to happen," he said quietly. "If you believe nothing else, believe that."
  She nodded without lifting her eyes.
  "I will stand by you," he added stiffly, "if the need arises." 

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