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欢迎来到荷兰!

(2016-07-07 23:16:30)
分类: 他山之石,可以攻玉

欢迎来到荷兰!

转者注:作者Emily Perl Kingsley是一位有特殊需求的孩子的母亲。

 

人们常常会让我描述一下抚养一个有特殊需求孩子的经历,来试图帮助没有这些独特经历的人们去理解它并想象那种感觉。它就像

 

当你将有一个孩子时,就如同计划一次美妙的旅行——去意大利。你会买一摞导游书,然后开始你的伟大计划:斗兽场、大卫·米开朗基罗、还有威尼斯的小船,你会学到很多实用的意大利常用语。这真是太激动人心了!

 

经过几个月的翘首企盼,那一天终于到来了。你收拾好行李出发啦。几个小时以后,飞机着陆了,空中小姐会进来向你说欢迎来到荷兰

 

荷兰?!你说,你说荷兰是什么意思??我是去意大利啊!我应该在意大利啊!我一生都梦想着去意大利!” 

 

 但是航班计划改变了:飞机降落在了荷兰,而且你必须待在那里。

 

但是,最重要的是他们没带你到那个恐怖、恶心、肮脏,充满瘟疫、饥荒和疾病的地方。只是一个不同的地方而已。

 

所以你必须出去,买新的旅游指南,而且你必须学习一种全新的语言。你还会认识一大群你本不会遇见的人。

 

这里仅仅是一个不一样的地方而已。这里比意大利的节奏慢,也没有意大利那么花哨。但当你在这里待了一段时间,你屏住呼吸向四周望去。。。你开始发现荷兰有风车荷兰有郁金香,甚至还有伦勃朗的画。

 

但每一个你认识的人都在匆忙地从意大利来来回回他们都在夸耀他们在那里渡过了多么美好的时光。于是在你今后的人生中,你就会说:“是的,那就是我本应该去的地方,那就是我曾经的计划。”

 

是的,失去这个梦想的痛苦永远不会消失,因为你确实失去了它。

 

但是如果你花费生命中的宝贵时间去悲伤去遗憾你没有能去成意大利这个事实,你就永远也不会有自由的愉悦心情去体验荷兰的可爱,以及特别美好之处。

 

Welcome to Holland


I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this…

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome To Holland”.

“Holland?!?” you say, “What do you mean “Holland”??? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills…Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy…and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned”.

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away…because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

But…if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things…about Holland.

 

By Emily Perl Kingsley.
Copyright
© 1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley
Reprinted with permission of the author. All rights reserved.”

 

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