It’s been so long since I wrote a diary last time. The pace of life goes so fast that I couldn’t even sit down for a while to write something, whatever it maybe, long or short, happy or sad. Now, I made the record stop here. I’m on the metro, line nine, which is crowded as usual. I have no seat, and I’m not used to compete for one. So I just stand beside the door, looking out at the scenery, plain but tranquil, just like my heart. Feeling bored, I’m contemplating. That’s the only thing I can do. In a flash, it occurred to my mind that I may write a diary with my cell phone, typing simple letters to conform to the mood I’m in at the right moment. Have a break, to be continued…

This weekend is Qingming, a festival that living people should be in memory of the “gone”. It made me feel different from the regular weekends. “Going home” should be happy, but it now covers a sense of sadness. It is said “you cannot trace back to the past, but you can pursue for the future”. But past is concrete and with real image while future is vague and with unreal imagine. She is gone, gone with the wind, wind blows my heart, heart gone with her, her voice obsesses my mind, mind her leaving? Leaving without saying, saying goodbye to me… Stop here, it goes into a circle, a vicious circle, a meaningless circle, a irrational circle, a circle much like our relationship that has been like so far, no end with no result…

Stepping off the line nine, seeing many loving couples, I just keep smiling. Envy it? Sure, but not much really. Walking a long way with heavy luggage, I feel thirsty, so I bought a drink. I’m now on line three already. Time flies, nine plus three are twelve, which equals to a year. Yeah, we know each other for nearly a year. I remember the day we date for the first time exactly. Writing to this, I feel better and sweet in heart. Even everything is gone; the memory lasts forever, as far as the forever love. Love is mysterious since you never know what will happen next, so that you live and love with hope. Love is struggling since it curves and sucks, when you are unable to find the direction, when you are lost in the mist. Love, actually, is just about feelings, missing and … Love is endless, but life is going on. Rest for a while, and then it’s time for life, friends and family.

I’ve stepped on line eight. It’s as crowd as line three and nine. Life in campus is just like this, always being crowded with all sorts of things. Sports come first, softball, basketball, table tennis, floor hockey… almost every week. Besides sports, the second frequently doing stuff is editing, for JCE and for Milan. Life is colorful, but also monotonous. No particular things happen. Mood is always in the air, up and down, high and low. I try to control it, if failed, I adjust it. Friends are reliable, especially Ben. I can confide everything in him. Getting along with them makes me feel comfortable. Lina mentions that I should care my family more before I establish my own family (in which I’m a husband and a father). Life at home is routine. Talk a little about my life in school, having meals (often only two or three since I’ve lessons on Saturday and have to go to school on Sunday afternoon). What accompanies me most is still the tap computer, surfing on line and doing translation for Milan forum. This weekend may be a bit better coz I don’t have Italian lessons. Actually, I imagine travelling far away from this noisy city. Travel alone, or with mamma, papa and grandma. Both are OK. I just wish to relax myself and seek for another world, a utopian, facing the great nature, sitting at the beach near the sea… I may wish to have a walk with mum and dad as before. Even talk little. The essential point is companionship, just as she and I walk together to the library, to the restaurant, or to the cinema. And, if can, to the future.

So the theme returns to love again, and it’s time to come to an end coz I will soon arrive home. Also my eyes feel dizzy. Ok, that’s the end of my first metro weekly or called cell phone weekly. To be continued… See me next time.