...if she’s not sleeping with you

TRENT：If a girl's into you, she's sleeping with you. If after a month,or two months at the very outside... she's not sleeping with you? She doesn't like you. The trick is to spot this girl early. Don't wannaa waste the one to seven week waiting to find out it's never gonna happen. So I've come up with some signs about how to spot this girl. A girl will never sleep with you... if she calls you "cuddly" or "dependable." If she pops a zit in front of you... if her name is Amber or Christine... if she takes a dump in your bathroom... or she takes home leftovers

on dates one, two, or three. I know it's not scientific... but I'm just saying,you were warned.

路人乙：如果一个女孩对你有意思她就会和你上床的。如果都过了一两个月你们还是什么都没发生，她没有和你上床？她就根本不喜欢你。关键是你要尽早的观察，不要花了一两个月到最后才发现没戏。我可以告诉你一些观察的技巧，如果一个女孩对你没兴趣的话，她会形容你“可爱”或者“可靠”。长了痘痘还和你见面，如果她的名字是安贝尔或者克里斯蒂，或者在你家的厕所便便，前三次约会的时候把吃剩的东西打包，我知道这不太科学，但这些都说明你被警告了。

Alex：Why do women do this? Build up this stuff in their minds... take each little thing a guy does,and then twist it into something else? It's insane.

为什么女人都喜欢这么做？在她们的脑子里想象，把男人做的一些小事情抓出来，然后曲解成其他的意思？太崩溃了！

Gigi：I'd rather be like that than be like you.

我宁愿是那样，也比喜欢你好。

Alex：Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?

你说什么？这话又是什么意思？

Gigi：I may dissect each little thing... and put myself out there too much... but at least that means I still care. Oh, you think you've won because women are expendable to you? You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way... but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone, Alex. I may do a lot of stupid shit... but I know I'm a lot closer to finding someone than you are.

我可能是误解了一些事情，太自作多情，但这至少说明我很在意。你以为女人愿意为你牺牲，你就赢了？你可能不会受伤或者让自己出局，但是你也不会真正的去爱。你没有赢，你是孤独的，埃里克斯。我可能做了很多愚蠢的事情，但是我知道，我至少比你要更接近自己想找的人

...if he’s sleeping with someome else

MARIEL：Well, my first husband was unimpressive. I found him in bed with his big-breasted secretary... when I came home early from the Maldives.It was just so unoriginal. Made me feel sorry for him. My second husband was a pinch more creative. Cheated on me with my sister... but made me believe that I was insane for being suspicious. So at least some mind games,some intrigue. But my last husband, he was a gem. He was a veritable master at covering his tracks. I mean, I pored over his phone records,I intercepted his credit-card bills... I had him followed on numerous occasions... and never found a single shred of evidence. It wasn't until he died... that I found out about the property he owned with his Austrian mistress. But the real master, I have to say, is me. Three husbands, countless boyfriends,I haven't been caught yet.

路人丙：我的第一任丈夫一点都不引人注意，有一次我从马尔代夫回来的时候，我发现他和他的大胸秘书滚在床上，这一点也不奇怪，只是让我对他觉得抱歉。我的第二任丈夫比较有创意，背着我跟我妹妹有一腿，但是还是让我觉得是我自己多疑，所以啊，至少是动了一些脑筋，暗地里进行的。但是我最后一任丈夫，是个珍品，他是一个名副其实的掩盖痕迹的高手。我仔细翻看过他的电话记录，我偷偷查了他的信用卡账单，我跟踪了他无数次，却从来没有发现过一丝证据，直到他去世，我才发现他和他的澳洲女人一起拥有的财产。但我不得不说，真正的大师，是我，三任丈夫，无数的男朋友，我从来没有被发现过。

Gigi：girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up：If a guy punches you, he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs. And someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see,every story we're told... implores us to wait for it. The third act twist:The unexpected declaration of love. The exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending... we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't. The ones who will stay from the ones who will leave. And maybe this happy ending doesn't include a wonderful guy. Maybe it's you... on your own... picking up the pieces and starting over. Freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just... moving on.

Or may be the happy ending is this: Knowing that through all the unreturned phone calls and broken hearts... through all the blunders and misread signals... through all of the pain and embarrassment... you never, ever gave up hope.

女孩在成长的过程中会学会很多东西，如果一个男孩打你，他就是喜欢你；永远不要试着自习修刘海儿；总会有一天，你会遇见一个优秀的男人，得到属于你的完美结局。我们看过的每场电影，听过的每个故事，都告诉我们要等着，第三幕会有意想不到的爱情宣言，规则的例外。但是有时候我们太急于要找我们的完美结局了，我们没有学会怎么去看懂暗示，怎么去区分哪些人想要我们，哪些人不想；怎么去区分哪些人会留下，哪些人会离开。有可能这个完美结局不包括一个优秀的男人，可能就是你…由你自己…收拾碎片重新开始，为了更好的将来解放自己。也许完美结局就是…继续向前走。

或许完美结局是这样的，明白了就算经历了所有未回电话和伤心…经历了所有的错误和误解的暗示，经历了所有的痛苦和尴尬…你也绝对不能放弃希望