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TRYING TO BE “UGLY”成为丑丑

(2007-01-20 21:03:36)
分类: 美文共赏

Everyone in our apartment complex knew who Ugly was.Ugly was the resident tomcat.Ugly loved three things in this world:fighting,eating garbage,and,shall we say,love.

He only had one eye and there was agaping hole where the other should have been.He was also missing his ear on the same side;his left foot appeared to have been badly broken at one time.His tail had long been ost,leaving only the smallest stub,which he would constantly jerk and twitch.

Ugly would have been a dark gery tabby,except for the sores covering his head and neck.Every time someone saw Ugly,there was the same reaction:”That’s one UGLY cat!”

All the childern were warned not to touch him,the adults threw rocks at him,hosed him down,squirted him when he tried to come in their homes,or shut his paws in the door when he would not leave.Ugly always had the same reaction:If you turned the hose on him,he would stand there,getting socked until you gave up and quit.If you threw things at him,he would curl his lanky body around your feet in display of forgiveness.

Whenever he spied children he would come running,meowing,and would bump his head against their hands,begging for their love.If you ever picked him up,he would immediately begin suckling on your shirt, earrings----whatever he could find.

One day,Ugly shared his love with the neighbour’s huskies.They did not respond kindly,and Ugly was badly mauled I could hear his screams from my apartment,and I tried to rush to his aid.By the time I got to where he was lying.,it was apparent that Ugly’s sad life was almost at an end.

As I picked him up and tried to carry him home,I could hear him wheezing and gasping,and could feel him struggling.It must be hurting him terribly,I thought.

Then,I felt a fimiliar tugging,sucking sensation on my ear.Ugly,in so much pain and obviously dying,was trying to suckle my ear.Even in his greatest suffering,that ugly battle-scarred cat was asking only for a little affection,and perhaps some compassion.

At that moment I thought Ugly was the most beautiful,loving creature I had ever seen.Never once did he try to bite or scratch me or struggle in any way.Ugly just look up at me,completely trasting in me to relieve his pain.

Ugly died in my arms before I could get inside,but I sat and held him for a long time afterwords,thinking about how one scarred,deformed liyyle stray could so alter my opinion about what it means to have true pureness of spirit,to love so totally and truly.Ugly taught me more about giving and compassion than a thousand books or leatures ever could,and for that I will always be thankful.He had  been scarred on the outside,but I was scarred on the inside,and it was time for me to move on and learn to love truly and deeply,to give my love to those I cared for.

Many people want to be richer, more successful,more beautiful;but for me,I will always try to be Ugly.

住在我们公寓里的人都知道“丑丑”是谁。“丑丑”是一只雄性家猫。在这个世界上,它爱做三件事:打架、吃垃圾,还有,可以这么说吧,爱别人。
    它只有一只眼睛,另外原本应该长眼睛的一边是一个裂开的洞。在同一边,它的耳朵也没有了;它的左脚看起来曾经断过,而且很严重。它的尾巴一早就不见了,只剩下残余的一小截,它总是不停地摇晃、抖动它。
如果不是它头上和颈上覆盖着伤口,“丑丑”本来可算得上是一只深灰色斑猫。每当人们看到“丑丑”,它们都会做出同样的反应:“那真是一只难看的猫!”
    大人们警告所有孩子不要去碰它。大人们向它扔石头,用胶管向它射水:当它想进入他们屋里时,他们就向它喷水,又或是在它不肯离开时把门狠狠关上,把它的爪子卡在门里。对于这些,“丑丑”总是做出一样的反应:如果你向他射水,它会一直站在那里,任凭身体湿透,直到你放弃,不再向他淋水:如果你向他扔东西,它会把瘦长的身体蜷缩在你脚旁,让你知道它原谅你。
    每当它看见小孩,它就会向他们跑去,咪咪地叫,还会用头轻轻地撞他们的手,企求他们的爱.如果你抱起它,它就会立刻吮吸你的衬衣,耳环——只要是它能找到的东西。
有一天,“丑丑”想与邻居家的爱斯基摩犬分享它的爱。它们却没有和善地对待它,“丑丑”被抓伤了,伤势很重。从房间里我可以听见它的尖叫声,于是我赶忙飞奔过去帮它。但当我来到它躺着的地方时,显然“丑丑”那可怜的生命就要走到尽头。
    当我抱起它想把它带回家时,我可以听见它在困难的呼吸、喘气,我还感觉到它在挣扎着。我想,它一定伤得很重。
    这时,我感到有东西在拉拽和吮吸我的耳朵,一种熟悉的感觉。垂死的“丑丑”忍受着巨大的痛楚,正努力舔我的耳朵。即使是在痛苦地挣扎,这只难看而又伤痕累累的猫只是乞求一点点的感情,或者一丝怜悯。
在那一刻,我认为“丑丑”是我所见过的最美丽、最活泼的动物。它从未想过要咬我、抓我或挣扎,一次也没有。“丑丑”只是抬头看着我,它完全相信我能减轻他的痛苦。
    在我走进屋子之前,“丑丑”在我怀中死去。但之后我仍坐在那里,抱了它很长一段时间。我在想,一只小小的流浪猫,满身伤痕又残废,却改变了我对什么是精神上真正的纯洁的看法——全心全意地去爱。在给予和同情心这一方面,“丑丑”教给我的比读一千本书或听一千场讲座还要多。因为这一点,我会永远感激它。它的伤痕在外面,而我的伤痕在里面。现在也是时候了,我要继续向前,学习如何真诚地、深切的去爱,学会爱那些我在乎的人。
    许多人想变得更富有、更成功、更美丽;但对我来说,我一直想成为“丑丑”。

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