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守望之刃
守望之刃
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Here I am

(2007-05-21 09:20:21)
标签:

here

i

am

大学

情感

女友

分类: 情感点滴
 本文献给北航所有像我一样单身着的朋友们,希望大家开心的度过每一天!
                            Here I am
                                          
——Dusky 07.05.17 21:30
    So, here I am, seated down on the 4th floor of library all by myself, looking at my own books, surrounded by at least 100 persons who are just like me.
    I know in Behang University, such a high school of engineering with an extreme imbalance between the numbers of girls and boys, it is not easy for a boy to find a suitable girlfriend. 10 thousand or even more of my school mates and millions of persons in the same age of me, I think, alone in their dormitories and classrooms, some of them liking it that way and some of them not. But I know single may be a “popular disease” here, and it became less embarrassing for us to admit than any other faults. Sometimes, people here are even proud to allege that they have no girlfriends but brethren.
    Nearly half of my college time has passed, I am still waking followed only by my own shadow, reading in the study-room, shopping in the supermarket, playing basketball on the playground, programming in the computer-room. Maybe someone is veracious when he speaks highly of loneness, but who are not willing to be accompanied with a beloved? I understand nothing can be importuned for, but I long for a true love just like most people, too.
    From time to time, I insensibly imagine promenading through the Green-Garden with our hand in hand on a still star-spangled night. Imagine leaning my head on her shoulder and closing my eyes to smell her fragrant black long hear in a cinema. Imagine taking off my frock and put it on her body on a cold rainy afternoon. Imagine laughing and chasing in a sunshine morning, Imagine staying up late together in nightlong studying room before an exam…
    Yes, I am an emotional animal. So I know all of that, wander for that,eager for that. So sometimes I find it's hard to get power from myself and dominated by mood.But I am also a man, I need a love so that I am still in solitude. A real supreme beautiful love needs staying rational as well as having passion. Sometimes I feel sorry for seeing those princes charming to flatter “dinosaur-princesses”. Sometimes I thought it’s a pity for those pairs who are excessively wasting their precious college time. Sometimes I feel boring to hear others’ coupling and splitting.
    I’d like to lower my head thinking of problems than look around to find beauties in frond of a lift. I’d like to fill my ears with earphone and listen to music rather than envy those sweet pairs passing by. I’d like to stay in library and dedicate myself into pabulum rather than talk about others’ love story with friends in dorm.
    No doubt about it, solitude is improved by being voluntary. Just like someone said that no companion can be as companionable as solitude.
    Consider of those famous great fictionist, inventor and ideologist in history for instance. Choose to be alone on purpose, having rejected company rather than been cast out by it, is one common characteristic of them. Newton, Vinci, Copernicus, Nietzsche, Goethe, Andersen, Plato…they all never got married whole the life. Solitary didn’t bring them loneness but time for them to think without being disturbed by the noisy outside and the inspiration for them to consider and compose.
    Yes, here I am, only by myself. It may not be what I expected to be, but for the time being I might as well accept it just as the only way that I will have to pass by when growing up. Anyway, that is God’s business to decide which person I shall meet with on my road.
    What I need to do now is just bending my head over my study. I know my girl need a splendid boy just like what I wander her should be. But not like an arrogant self-centered person or those who are shy away from others because of self-contempt. Stop seeking, no envying, never feel anxious. Settle down and make myself cheerful, at east temporarily, I know I still have a lot of grace and pleasure coming from the very bottom of my heart in such condition.
    In this college, just like a big castle of knowledge, I just want to be a patient “Sleeping Handsome” sealed up in a tower, waiting for the appearance of my girl. Wait for the unique, gorgeous, virtuous-hearted and bright one who is fated to be my princess in destiny to wake me up.
    However, I will always believe the happy ending to my and her fairy tale.

 翻译一下吧^_^
                             我就在这里
                                           ——守望之刃 07.05.17 21:30
    所以,我就在这里,一个人坐在图书馆的四层,看着自己的书,周围至少有一百个像我一样的人。
    我知道在北航这个男女生数量极不平衡的工科大学里,对于一个男上来说找到合适的女友不是件容易的事。至少有一万或者更多的校友,以及那数以百万的同龄人们,正独自呆在寝室和教室里,有的是喜欢那样,有的则不是。但我知道单身在这里几乎是“大众的通病”,并且比起其他的过错来,我们承认它时似乎越来越不感到尴尬。有时,这里的人甚至还骄傲的宣布,他们有的是兄弟而没有的是女友。
    大学生涯几乎过了一半,可我依然形单影只:(一个人)在自习室看书;在超市购物;在操场上打球;在机房里编程。也许,当有人高度赞扬孤独的时候他是真诚的,但是有谁不希望能被自己心爱的人陪伴呢?我懂得凡是不可强求,可也和大多数人一样渴望着一份真爱呀。
    时刻都会在不自觉地想:在一个恬静而星光灿烂的夜晚,我们手牵着手在绿园里散步;在影院里,我轻轻地把头倚靠在你的肩上,闭起眼呼吸你黑色长发的芳香;在一个寒冷阴雨的下午,我脱下自己的外套披在你身上;在一个阳光明媚的早晨,我们追逐欢笑着;在考前的通宵自习室里,我们一起熬夜看书…
    是的,我是只感性动物。所以我知道这些,想着这些,渴望这些。有时发现自己难以获得动力还常常被情绪控制。但是,我也是个男人,正因为我需要一份爱所以我依然孤独。一份真正崇高美丽的爱需要的不仅是热情,更需要的是理智啊。有时看见那些白马王子逢迎着那些“恐龙公主们”时我真感到抱歉;有时看见那些一对对的在过渡浪费宝贵的大学时光我也感到遗憾;有时甚至厌倦了去听别人的分分合合。
    我宁愿站在电梯前低头思考着自己的问题,而不是东张西望的去寻找美女;我宁愿将耳机塞进自己的耳朵欣赏音乐,而不是去羡慕路过的幸福情侣;我宁愿呆在图书馆一个下午去专心于精神食粮,而不是呆在宿舍和朋友们谈论别人的爱情故事。
   毫无疑问,如果自愿独处,感觉会好得多。就像有的人说的一样,没有比独处更好的伴侣了。
   想想那些个历史上闻名的创作家,发明家,思想家吧。故意选择独处,拒绝别人的陪伴而并非为伴侣所抛弃,正是他们一个共同的特点。牛顿,达芬奇,哥白尼,尼采,歌德,爱迪生,柏拉图…他们都终身未娶。独处并没有带给他们孤独,相反却是在没有外在干扰下,有足够的时间去激发灵感,去思考,去创作。
   是的,我就在这里,孤单一人。这也许不是我原先期望的,但眼下不如接收现实,把它当作是成长的必经之路吧。毕竟上帝会安排路上我将遇到的人。
   现在我所要做的就是埋头于自己的学业。我知道我的女孩也向我一样,期待着一个优秀的男生。不过不是那种以自我为中心的高傲者,也不是那些因为自卑而逃避的人。停止寻找,不必羡慕,不再焦虑。安定下来,使自己开心点,至少此时我清楚,即使在这种情况下内心深处仍然有许多优雅和欢乐。
    在这所大学,这座充满知识的城堡里面,我只想做个被封在塔里的“睡美男子”,耐心等待着我的女孩的出现。等待着那个独一的,绝美的,善良的,聪颖的女孩,那个命中注定是我公主的人来唤醒我。
   不管怎样,我永远相信我和她那美丽的童话结局

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