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西学宗用:汉译英习作修改、润色(餐饮业英语)

(2006-10-23 17:41:59)
分类: 译海拾贝
西学宗用:汉译英习作修改、润色(餐饮业英语)
 
西学宗用:汉译英习作修改、润色(餐饮业英语)
 
天萃庭餐厅(6F)
Paradise Garden Restaurant(6F)
 
   天萃庭是设计师眼中的中式摩登,是食客眼中的精致细节。气度恢宏,气势磅礴;铜墙木椅,红砖金瓦,贵气十足的大堂金碧辉煌。所有情调的摆弄和考究的细节,都是为让您享受到不一样的品质。从精致装盘演绎到体贴入微的服务,使您在用餐过程充满了发现的乐趣。
 
   Paradise Garden is of modern Chinese style in the eyes of designers, and delicacy in diners. Its grandeur of copper walls, wooden chairs, red bricks and golden tiles as well as the resplendent and magnificent hall, all of the tasty ornaments and exquisite details are for your enjoyment of uniqueness. Whether the fine placement of dish or the considerate services makes your dining full of interest of discovery.  (原译)
 
   In the eyes of designers, Paradise Garden Restaurant is a Chinese-style vogue; to gourmands, it is a refinement of delicacies. It is a magnificent palace imbued with nobleness and grandeur, with all the wooden furniture going against the wall of bronze, the red bricks contrasting the golden tiles. The aesthetic sentiment here will awaken your visual senses to the full, an incomparable quality of enjoyment in life. From our exquisite dishes to our meticulous services, there is much more fun for you to explore. (西学宗用)
 
西学宗用:汉译英习作修改、润色(餐饮业英语)
 
拉图餐厅(5F)
LA TOUR CUISINE NOUVELLE(5F)
 
   提供最为与众不同的用餐环境,私人空间,个人服务,再加上无可挑剔的美味菜肴和餐厅配套设施,所有这些在金茂拉图餐厅都可以实现。餐厅拥有目前上海为数不多的超大落地玻璃幕墙,突破了金茂大厦高层俯视浦江两岸风景的传统习性,可近距离一睹浦东国际金融中心之繁华景象,使用餐变得不再那么拘束,窗内的美食和客人与窗外的繁华都市一并成为一道美丽的城市风景。
 
   Extraordinary dining environment, privacy, individual services as well as delicious dishes and spotless facilities, all this can come true in LA TOUR CUISINE NOUVELLE of Jinmao Building. LA TOUR boasts super French glass walls that are few in Shanghai, breaking away from traditional overlooking both sides of Huangpu River from high in Jinmao Building. You can enjoy the prosperity of Pudong International Finance Center in vicinity. Dining becomes no longer restrictive, and the integration of customers and delicious food inside and the glorious city outside becomes a beautiful urban view. (原译)
 
   Well decorated and facilitated, LA TOUR CUISINE NOUVELLE at Jin Mao Tower offers fantastic French cuisines with privateness and individualized services. Through the restaurant's massively superb glass wall, a rare intimate view in Shanghai, one would be presented with a close-up scene of the prosperity of Pu Dong’s International Financial Center, unlike a conventional look at the banks of the Huang Pu River. Inside, the diners enjoy their gourment foods, unusually relaxed, immersed in the outside beauty of the cosmopolitan Shanghai. (西学宗用)
 
西学宗用:汉译英习作修改、润色(餐饮业英语)
 
创始人Francesco Illy
 
西学宗用:汉译英习作修改、润色(餐饮业英语)
 
 
意式咖啡店(1F)
IllyCaffè (1F)
 
   我们精致的意式咖啡店位于“金茂大厦”一楼15号门旁,是一家Illy Bar Concept的代表店。我们的目标在于:为在办公室工作的客户提供温馨服务,包括新鲜的三明治;五星级水准的甜品;可口的早点;当然还有美味的Illy咖啡!IBC咖啡馆由意大利知名设计师设计,所有的吧台外观和完善的设备装置都源自意大利纯正工艺,体现欧洲品位。希望通过我们的努力,向上海推广意大利咖啡的悠久历史和文化,并且乐意于引进给全中国的消费者!
 
   Our delicate Italian coffee bar situated beside gate 15 on the 1st floor of Jinmao Building is a representative store of Illy Bar Concept. Our aim is to provide warm-hearted services for customers working in the office, including fresh sandwiches, five-star deserts, tasty breakfasts, and of course yummy Illy coffee. The IBC coffee bar is designed by a well-known Italian designer. Its exterior and complete installations of authentic Italian craft are the representation of European taste. We make our efforts in the hope of giving publicity to the age-old history and culture of Italian coffee in Shanghai, and willing to bring it to all the Chinese consumers. (原译)
 
   Our exquisite Italian-style café, a flagship Illy Bar Concept “bar-coffee” shop at Jin Mao Tower, lies next to Gate no.15 on the 1st floor. In an ambience of warmth and sweetness, we cater to our white-collar customers a wide assortment of pleasantly fresh sandwiches, five-star desserts, and savory breakfast, with our espresso coffee among others. Uniquely designed, our IBC café is a creation of stylish Italian architectural design for bars, with interior structures and furnishings in the best European taste. We aspire to promote to Shanghai within the splendid culture of a long history of Italy, hoping to bring this great tradition to Chinese consumers across the country.  (西学宗用)
 
西学宗用:服务行业的英语一定要亲切自然,从外国游客的角度去观察、体验,才能避免教材里那种板着面孔说话的中国式官样文章翻译。
 
这三个短篇习作原译,从英语语法来看,问题并不大,主要还是在以下几个方面尚欠火候。
 
首先,翻译不必亦步亦趋,拘泥于原文的句子结构,而应该根据译入语的写作方法,重新铺陈、布局;其次,要密切注意词汇搭配、用法,多查词典,多参考例句;此外还要学会删繁就简,才能摆脱臃肿不堪、不符合英语表达习惯而拖泥带水的英译文。个中滋味,大家可逐一对照,仔细品味。
 
如果说明辨词义,做到遣词造句得心应手是基本功的话,那么把握原作的节奏,传达原作的风格则是一种境界。
 
要从长计议,多揣摩名家的优秀译文,比较文字的佳妙之处,才能逐渐培养出对中英两种语言良好的鉴赏能力和驾驭能力。

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