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又一些翻译的笑话 Jokes

(2006-10-05 16:05:06)
标签:

笑话

分类: 英语

,本想直接这么用笑话更新了,来改善些气氛。原来看了大学的评论后,我现在是发自内心的豁然开朗呀。原来大家是很关心在乎我的,我也关心在乎你们!特别感谢至目前为止我看过的对我上篇博文留下脚印的:(当然我自己就不算了,呵呵)小傻,月亮之上,麦子,邓然,小马哥,雨夜不宜私奔,敏敏阿骨打!朋友,确实是心灵的依赖……把我感动得呀,什么也不说了,一起看笑话吧,呵呵……

 

7.犹太猫

Mrs. Pepperwinkle was devastated when her cat Mary expired. She wanted to give it a proper funeral, but both the Catholic and Protestant churches in her neighborhood refused to bury a cat.In desperation, the woman turned to the synagogue and asked the rabbi if he would say a few words at the cat's funeral."Mrs. Pepperwinkle," the rabbi said, "for one thing, we do not believe in burying animals. For another,you're not even Jewish.""I intend to donate a half million dollars in Mary's name to and house of worship which will accept her," the woman interrupted."On the other hand, I do believe the cat is Jewish..."

 

皮伯威克夫人对她死去的猫玛丽悲痛交加。她想给它办一个正式的葬礼,但她社区的天主教堂和新教教堂都拒绝埋葬一只猫。万般沮丧之下,这位妇人把目光投向了犹太教堂,她问拉比(犹太教中负责执行教规、法律、仪式的人)他对这只猫的葬礼意见如何。“皮伯威克夫人,”拉比说,“其一,我们不信奉埋葬动物。其二,你本人都不是犹太人呀。”皮伯威克夫人插话说:“我本来是想以玛丽的名义给接受它并敬奉它的教堂捐50万美元的。” “呃,其三,在另一方面,我完全相信这只猫是犹太猫……”

 

8.透露

A few days before a big social-science exam, the instructor informed us that he would hold an optional review session the next day. Knowing that only a handful of us would show up, he added, "those who attend will get the answer to one of the questions." The following day, a small group of us eagerly waited as the instructor talked about the content of the 100 true/false questions. Finally, he got to information we had come for."Okay," he said, "as promised, here is one of the answer 'True.' See you tomorrow."

 

在一场大型社会科学考试前几天,导师通知我们第二天他将会给我们上一节选修复习课。他知道到时只有几个人会去听,于是补充道,“上课的同学将会得到考试中一题的答案。”结果第二天,在导师交待会有100道判断对错题的考试内容时,我们几个人迫不及待地等着。最后,他终于讲到了我们最想听的。“好吧”他说,“正如我承诺的,给你们一个答案吧,那就是“对”。好了,明天见。”

 

9.鹦鹉

The pet-shop customer couldn't believe his good fortune. The parrot he had just bought could recite Shakespeare's sonnets, imitate opera stars and intone Homer's epic poems in Greek. And he cost only $ 600. Once the man got the bird home, however, not another word passed his beak. After three weeks the disconsolate customer returned to the shop and asked for his money back. "When we had this bird," said the proprietor, "he could recite poetry and sing like an angel. Now you want me to take him back when he's no longer himself?"Well, all right. Out of the goodness of my heart I'll give you $ 100." Just as the customer got out of the door he heard the parrot saying, "Don't forget my half of share!"

 

一位宠物店的顾客不敢相信他的好运。他刚买的鹦鹉可以背诵莎士比亚的十四行诗,模仿歌剧明星并能用希腊语吟唱荷马史诗。并且,这只花了他600美元。然而,这人一把这鸟带回家,它就一个字也不说了。三星期后,这位闷闷不乐的顾客回到那家店并想要回他的钱。店主说,“可我们养这只鸟时它可以背诗,可以像个天使一样唱歌呀。现在,你却想让我收回这只失去能力的鸟?”后来接着说,“那么,好吧。出于我的好心,我只会还给你100美元。”这位顾客刚一走出店门就听到那只鹦鹉对老板说, “别忘了还有我一半儿。”

 

 

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