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Mind Play

(2008-09-24 18:29:58)
Being a rational thinker is wat I have always wanted in my life. I have traded off my happiness in order to achieve it, n things a no longer to go as I pleased. I restrain my emotions n master my mind, so it becomes costly for me to do even one "silly" thing. I try to manage my time and learn sth in every minute and although these push me to my limits, I still take it as long as it will not drive me nuts. The plans and goals are put off by "laziness", "excuses" and "temptation" etc. I hate the feeling of being behind in schedule, and feeling guilty afterward. Not gd, not gd.

I keep myself extremely "busy" (not so true, sleep count in :P) and in this leaves me no time to think about whether I am happy....I'm not fooling myself. I like listing myself as "Single", it is like a sign of a noble bachelorette. I'm not a gd partner at this stage in life bcz I can't devote myself too much in any relationship. Maybe I am not ready yet...

Naive, mature, thoughtful, responsible, considerate? Who cares? At this exact moment I don't give a shit. The boat swings and keeps navigating its way but nothing is exciting as I normally gain my happiness from great storms no matter lose or win. It is like how I don't like drinking water, yup, no taste... perhaps that is my destination or maybe all the natural characters factors resulting in it....

So many promises for visiting hasn't been done... poor me...I beg god, dreams come true... oh yeah!!!Mind <wbr>Play

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