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Is it Love or Infatuation

(2006-09-20 11:00:19)
分类: 佳文试译

爱情还是迷恋

 

Are you really in love? How do you know the difference between love and infatuation? This is often difficult to determine, for there are no set rules surrounding the definitions of lvoe or infatuation. Romantic love is very much a part of the American way of life and many expect that someday "it" is going to hit them and they will know they are in love!

你真的坠入爱河了吗?你如何区分爱情与迷恋呢?要区分两者的差异是件难事,因为爱情与迷恋的界线并无一定之规。浪漫的爱情是美国人生活方式的一部分,许多美国人希望有一天爱会降临到自己头上,那时他们会意识到自己已坠入爱河。

 

What are some of the differences between love and infatuation? Gennuine love is more likely to involve a process of "growing" in love rather than "falling" in love. This may sound terribly unromantic to some who are used to hearing talk about "falling in love" or being "head over heels in love". This "falling" is often infatuation, and the sheer emotion of "falling in love" often blinds a person to the imperfections of the loved one. We tend to think of the loved one as "perfect", "ideal", or some other divine image. Real love sees the total person-- both the perfection and the imperfecion. Infatuation, then, is a sudden, emotional sense that one has discovered the "perfect" lover. On the other hand, love realizes imperfections and grows with the acceptance of those imperfections.

爱情与迷恋有何不同呢?真正的爱情可能是生久生情而不是突然坠入爱河。对某些人来说可能太不够浪漫,他们习惯于“坠入爱河”或“爱的神魂颠倒”。“坠入爱河”通常就是迷恋,这种纯粹的情感常常使自己对所爱人的缺点视而不见。我们倾向于认为自己的所爱是完美无暇、奉若神明。真正的爱情看到的是整个人--既有优点,也有缺点。迷恋是一种认为找到完美爱人的突然的情绪化感觉。而爱情认识到缺点并能渐渐接受那些缺点而不影响爱情的发展。

 

Love leads a person to a feeling of security and trust in the loved one. It usually involves a feeling of mutual benefit arising from the new relationship. "We are able to solve our problems together" is the feeling of love, rather than "Please love me because I need you."

爱情使人有安全感,对恋人有信任感。爱的双方都能从这种新关系中获益。爱的感觉应该是“我们能共同解决问题”而不是“爱我吧,因为我需要你。”

 

Infatuation ofen entails feelings of insecurity whenever the "lovers" are separated; feelings of doubt, fickleness, uncertainty, and fear of loss often accompany infatuation. "What will I do if I lose him?" and "I wonder if she really means it when she says she loves me?" express the feelings of infatuation. In such a setting a lasting love does not have a chance to develop.

当不在一起的时候,迷恋常常使双方产生不安全感、疑虑、花心、不确定和对失落的恐惧常与迷恋如影随行。“失却了他我会怎么办?”,“当她说爱我的时候是真心的吗?”,这些都是迷恋的表达方式。在这样的情形下,自然不会有什么天长地久的爱了。

 

Infatuation tends to be more manipulative than love because a lasting feeling of relationship problably has not developed, so that the individuals are still concerned mainly about their own needs and satisfactions. Conversely, in love, the feeling of relationship is gennuine and sincere so that concern for the other person evolves naturally.

 迷恋与爱情相比,具有更多的人为操纵的因素,因为持久稳定的关系还没有建立,因此双方主要关心自己的需要与满足。相反,在爱情中,双方对彼此的关系是真诚的,这样自然就会关心对方。

 

Physical attraction is an important part of both infatuation and love, but the superficial attraction is less important in love, for the couple experiencing love usually will build their relationship on a broader base than mere physical attration.

 无论在迷恋还是在爱情中,都少不了肉体的吸引。但这种表面的吸引在爱情中相对次要些,因为相爱的有把他们的关系建立在更广泛的基础之上,而不仅仅是肉体的吸引。

 

Although genuine love is an ideal toward which a couple strives, you don't have to be perfect to love. True love involves a measure of self-acceptance and sel-respect and a dregree of sel-sufficiency in order that one may accept, respect, and trust another person, but it does not require unachievable levels of these qualities.

虽然真挚的爱情是恋爱双方都追求的理想,但并不是说自身必须十全十美才有资格去爱。真正的爱情需要某种自我接受,自尊和一定程度的自立,以便接受、尊敬和信任对方,但这并不要求你在这些素质方面达到无法达到的水平。

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