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老外眼中中国男人的择偶观----(原创翻译)

(2007-04-06 19:46:11)
分类: 妻的翻译

 老外眼中中国男人的择偶观

   迈克尔

经常有中国明友问我:“你们外国人为什么喜欢交不怎么漂亮的中国女友?”我还听人半开玩笑地说:“不漂亮的中国女孩子不用因为嫁不出去而发愁。地们可以嫁给老外呀!”

听到这样的话,我心里多少会有点不高兴:难道西方男人就这么没有眼光吗?实际上,并不是我们看不到中国女人脸上的皱纹和斑点,但不少人能超越长相,去发现一个人的内心世界。而在我看来,大部分中国男人的择偶标准不外乎一条——漂亮。

长期生活在中国的经历告诉我,中国男人对美女的确是“孜孜以求”。历史上,过得了美人关的英雄寥寥无几,不少男人因迷上倾国佳人而遭遇不幸。到了现代社会,还是有为数不少的中国男人继承着老祖宗的“遗志”。

中国男人爱面子Chinese men are sensitive about their reputation

中国男人重视自己另一半的相貌,与中国人爱面子有直接关系。当他不无骄傲地把追到的漂亮女人带到众人面前时,他的虚荣心会得到空前满足。买际上,这也是他生存竞争能力的一种展示,正如他向别人炫耀他的奔驰车或花园洋房一样。

法国男人也喜欢美女。不过,在谈到女性的美貌时,法国人会把“漂亮”与“美”这两种概念分得一清二楚。有的女孩年轻活泼、身材很好,脑子却空荡荡的,这种女性最多只能得到“漂亮”的称谓。相反,有的女性身段、五官都不出色,穿着打扮也不特别讲究,却散发着一种不可抵挡的魅力与气质,这样的女性才会被法国男人称为“美人”。

相比之下,中国男人更看重漂亮的外表,我听过不少人讲自己的择偶标准.首要条件就是一定要漂亮。外国男人当然也不愿娶个面貌丑陋的人回家,但相比之下,他们更看重心灵的撞击和思想的沟通。因此,在外国男人刊登的征婚启事中,他们往往会详细介绍自己的兴趣爱好,包括喜欢看什么书、平时都欣赏什么电视节目以及爱从事什么运动等。再打开报纸看看中国男人的征婚启事,上面罗列的都是他们妁“成就”,其中重要的无外乎他们的经济状况、学位以及有几居室的房子等,

中国男人也不是一不需要思想沟通,但他们更愿意和同性朋友交流,而女人往往只有听她们胡侃的份儿。中国男人十分享受女人的善崇拜,尤其不能客忍女人比自己强。买际上,这是男女不平等的体现。

年纪要比自己小 being younger than themselves

除了外貌,中国男人择偶的另一个重要标准就是年龄。翻开报纸、打开电视,你会发现.征婚者无一例外地要求女方的年纪比他自己小。外国男人当然也注意女人的年龄,否则沟通起来就有问题。但她们不特别要求女人一定要比自己小,大几岁也无妨

中国男人上述择偶观的出现不是偶然的,而是有着深厚的社会基础。从大的方面来说,是中国几千年根深蒂固的封建思想在作怪;从小的方面来说,还因为很多中国女性并没有从思想深处真正树立起和男人平起平坐的观念。

据我观察,中国有相当一部分的年轻女性把自己的容貌当成和男人讨价还价的筹码,她们重视外表的程度远远超过欧洲女性。刚到中国的时候,这种现象真是出乎我的意料。上海的生活水平在中国虽然算是比较高的,但毕竟还无法与法国相比,而中国都市的不少年轻女性,购买衣服、化妆品或娱乐所需的花费,非一般法国女性所能承受得起或舍得投入的。尽管进口的服装、美容品在中国的售价要比国外高出两三成,但她们购买时眼晴都不眨一下。当然,中国女人这么做也不是没有回报的,她们清楚地知道,自己越漂亮,钓到“金龟婿”的可能性也就越大。

 

It Is Incredible: Chinese Man Could Choose Spouses in Such Ways

                        ------------------ by Michael

Some Chinese friends always ask me a question: why do you foreigners mostly like making girlfriends who is not very beautiful. Some even say in a joke that many Chinese girls never need to worry about their marriage even if they don’t have good looking, because they can marry foreigners.

 

I feel a little unhappy hearing this. Don’t western men have the ability to see beauty? In fact, it is not that we didn’t see wrinkles and flecks on Chinese women’s face but we can explore her inside beauty beyond outside appearance. As far as I am concerned, the only standard for Chinese men to choose spouse is women’s looking.  

 

I live in China for a long time, so I know many Chinese men are very inflexible in seeking good-looking women. Few heroes in the history can resist beautiful girls and many men who eat the bread of the affliction at last, as a result of being indulged in fairs. In modern society, still there are great number of Chinese men follow their forefathers.

 

Chinese men are sensitive about their reputation

The reason that Chinese men emphasize their wives’ appearance has something to do with their so called self-respect. They will feel great satisfactory and pride when they proudly introduce their beautiful women to their friends and relatives. It is actually a kind of verification of their competition, just as they show off the Benz and villa with garden to others.  

 

French men like beauty too, but they differentiate prettiness from beauty clearly when they talk about women. Some girls have youth, liveliness and good figure, but unintelligent. This kind of girls just can be said pretty. On the contrary, there are some girls who haven’t ideal figure and good-looking but a kind of irresistible charm and temperament. Only this kind of girls can be regarded as beauty in French men’s eyes.

   

Compared with French men, Chinese men attach more importance to appearance. I heard many people talking about their own standard of choosing spouse. The first requirement is prettiness. Of course, foreigners are also unwilling to marry an ugly woman, but they first emphasize communication and understanding. Therefore, when foreign men put their marriage advertisement on the newspapers, they always introduce their hobbies in details such as what kind of books, TV programs, and sports they like. However, Chinese men’s marriage advertisements are all about their achievement, such as their financial status, education, Luxurious sedan cars, big house, and so forth.

 

Chinese men also need communication, but they prefer to speaking out their own ideas, or just making orders. Chinese men enjoy women’ admiration, but can’t tolerate their wives are more excellent than themselves. In fact, it is the embodiment of sex inequality.

 

Women should be younger than men

Except for the appearance, another important standard is age. When you flip newspapers or turn on the TV, you will find all of them demand that women should be younger than themselves. Foreign men pay attention to the age too, or else they think there will be problems in communicating, but it isn’t necessary, and it is OK if girls are several years older than them.

 

The incredible way for Chinese men to choose spouse mentioned above is not accidental but with deep social influence. For the general parts, it is because of the deep-rooted Chinese feudalist ideology formed during several thousand years. But to be exact, it is also because Chinese women didn’t set up the concept of equality with men in their mind.

  

According to my observation, a lot of young women regard their looks as the chip for good marriage. They pay more attention to appearance than European women. When I came to China firstly, the phenomenon is unexpected. The living standard in Shanghai Province is higher than other places in China, but still not better than France. While surprisingly, the expenditure of Chinese young girls on clothes, cosmetics, and entertainment is much more than what ordinary French women can afford. Although the price of imported clothes and cosmetics in China are two or three times that of other countries, they still buy without any hesitation. Of course, Chinese women don’t do this without any reward and they are clear that the more beautiful they are, the more possible they could marry rich men.

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