Two ranch lords of New Zealand were gossiping, one said:" My ranch is so large that it takes me two days to move around it by lorry." Another said:" I also have such a dilapidated（破旧了的） lorry before."

新西兰的两个牧场主在交谈，一个说：“我的牧场很大，开车转一圈就得两天。”另一个说：“我以前也有这么一辆破车。”

迷你小贴士——词义辨析

dilapidated：倒塌的，破旧了的，破破烂烂的。用于房子、家具、车等。
词根法：di-(二)+lapid-（石头）+ated→dilapidated (GRE)
shabby：（东西因使用太久或保管不善）破旧了的，破破烂烂的。可比喻卑鄙的。

Mustard Oil （芥末油）

Halifax took Blum to eat out（下馆子）. He ladled （用勺舀）up a honey-colored thing from multifarious (各式各样的)condiments（佐料，调味品） and put it into his mouth, immediately tears covering his face. The other party asked him:" How now?" In spite of knowing the fact that it was the mustard oil, Halifax told him intentionally:" It reminds me of the agony(极度痛苦，痛苦挣扎) my father hanging himself 10 years ago the very instant I eat so tasty thing." Blum was not oversensitive（过分敏感的） and also scooped (=ladled )up a honey-colored thing among multifarious flavorings and put it into his mouth, immediately tears covering his face, too. Halifax pretend not to know, asking:
" What goes?" Blum said:" I am wondering the reason why you did not follow t   your father to die as your father hanged himself 10 years ago?"

哈里发刻丝请勃鲁姆吃饭，在令人眼花缭乱的调味品中，哈里发刻丝舀了一勺类似蜂蜜一样的东西含在嘴里，顿时累流满面。对方问他：“怎么啦？”他明明知道吃的是芥末油，哈里发刻丝却说：“一吃到这么好吃的东西，我就想起10年前爸爸上吊时的痛苦了。”勃鲁姆没有多想，也舀了一勺类似蜂蜜一样的东西含在嘴里，顿时也累流满面。哈里发刻丝佯装不知，问：“你怎么啦？” 勃鲁姆说：“我在想，10年前你爸爸上吊时你怎么不去跟着死呀？”

迷你小贴士——词义辨析

scoop：舀取，深挖动作。用力插入某物并取出其中一部分。
ladle：用勺将液体舀出。
spoon：用调羹将液体舀出。

Just Want to Work (就想工作)

A missionary(传教士) goes to Africa to preach, so he says to a group of sidelined（下岗的） workers: “ Would you like to go to the heaven, or the hell?" The jobless workers says:" We go wherever there is work for us ."

一个传教士到非洲去传教，他对一群“下岗”工人说：“你们打算去天堂，还是去地狱？”“下岗”工人说：“哪里有工作我们就向哪里去。”

迷你小贴士——词义辨析

表示“下岗的”常见词语有：
sidelined，unemployed，jobless，laid off，out of work/ a job

In Front of Traffic Lights (红绿灯前)

Charlotte who just attained the driver's license drove to the intersections, but her engine had cut out (熄火)incidentally. Traffic lights had changed color some times, but Charlotte had trouble starting her car all the time. More and more cars posterior to(=behind) her were blocked up. Then came over the cop, saying: "Miss , haven't you waited your favorite color ?"

刚考到驾驶执照的夏洛蒂，开车来到十字路口，一不小心熄火了。红绿灯变换了好几次，夏洛蒂的车就是发动不起来，后面的车越堵越多。这时一个交警走了过来，说：“小姐，你还没有等到你喜欢的颜色吗？”

迷你小贴士——词形辨析

“步步高”式记单词：

poster（海报，招贴画）→posterior（时间、次序上较后的）→posteriority（子孙后代）

Hair-dying (染发)

Husband: You are always buying that expensive hair-dying cream. When do you let your hair look like Barbara Bush?
Wife: The day that you’re inaugurated （就职典礼）the President.

丈夫：你就知道买那些昂贵的染发膏，什么时候你的头发看起来能像芭芭拉"布什（小布什的妈妈）那样啊？
妻子：你就职总统那天。

迷你小贴士——词义辨析

Inaugurate：官方的正式开始，为某人举行就职典礼。
initiate：创始，发起，只用于及物动词。
institute：开始，着手。用于正式场合，特别是法律法规的制定。

God Is Watching Tangerines（上帝在看蜜橘呢）

At a theological seminary（神学院，温床）, as entering the canteen（食堂，小卖部） for lunch, the students were greeted by a sign over a bowl of tangerines that read:" Take only one tangerine with you. God is watching you.”

At the end of the line there was a large pan of cookies（家常小甜饼） with a cursory （仓促的，草率的）sign reading: “Take as many cookies as you want. God is watching the tangerines beyond.”

在神学院，当学员们走进食堂用午餐时，蜜橘池上的一个提示牌映入他们的眼帘，上写道：“只能拿一个蜜橘，上帝在看着你。”

在食物行的末端，有一个曲奇饼大盘子，有人在上面匆匆写下：“你想拿多少就拿多少，上帝在远处看着蜜橘呢！”

迷你小贴士——词义辨析

cursory：仓促的，草率的。侧重故意做不负责任的处理。正式语。
hasty：轻率的，匆匆的。不能花必要的时间把事情作得更完美。
slapdash：兼有cursory+ Hasty之意。
careless：常用词。因疏忽和马虎而出错。

Getting out of a Fix (解围)

Gordon had a defect that he usually peeped the classmate’s letter. Once he was ransacking (彻底搜索，洗劫) seatmate’s drawer when his seatmate came in. The seatmate queried(质问) him:" What are you seeking ?" " I am seeking ……seeking …… ", someone " helped " him out of a predicament(困境) saying:
" He is seeking ‘ Excuse’."

戈登有个毛病，他常常偷看同学的信。一次，正当他在翻同桌的抽屉时，同桌进来了。质问他：“你在找什么？” “我在找……找……”，有人“解围”说：“他在找借口。”

迷你小贴士——词义辨析

predicament：困境，窘境。
quandary：困惑，进退两难。
dilemma：困境，左右为难。

Dove （鸽子）

While Rabin, together with his girlfriend Clara, was walking on Rome Square in Italian, a dove in air relieved the bowels（肠） onto Rabin's suite（套装）. He said:" Give me some tissue(绵纸) paper quickly." Clara distorted （曲解）his motive , asked:" Well, do you still want to wipe the tail of dove?"

拉宾和他的女友克拉拉正在意大利的罗马广场上走着，空中一只鸽子拉在了拉宾的身上，说：“快给我些卫生纸。”克拉拉窝囊他问：“怎么，你还想给鸽子擦屁股？”

迷你小贴士——翻然成趣的词语

卫生纸，绵纸：tissue paper ——paper tissue；
三角债： chain debts—— debt chains
还有些单词正看、反看都有意思，如：
live倒过来就是evil。可见“生活”不能颠倒，颠倒过来就是“罪恶”——俨如警世通言！又，鼠辈造反（猜一英语单词）。谜底是star。因为star从后往前读，正好是rats。其它有：

Are--------- era(时代)；bin（贮藏器）----- nib（笔尖）；but ------ tub（盆）；deer(鹿)----- reed（芦苇）； door----- rood（十字架）；doom（注定）----- mood（心情）；deem（认为）----- meed（适当的报答）； dot（点）----- tod（狐）；evil（罪恶）------ live（生活）；God----- dog；gnat（小烦扰）----- tang（强烈的味道）；gulp（吞）-------plug（插座）；gut（内容，实质）----- tug（猛拉，苦干）；keel（船的龙骨）------leek（韭葱）；loop（环）----- pool（水池）；loot（赃物）----- tool，meet---- teem（充满，涌现）；nip（呷）------ pin（大头针）；nod（点头）------ don（大学教师）；not----- ton（吨）；on---- no；pan（平底锅）------- nap（小睡）；part----- trap（陷阱）；pets（宠物）------- step；pots（壶）-----stop；put-----tup（公羊）；rail（铁轨）------ liar（说谎者）；ram（公羊）------ mar（弄糟）；raw（生的）------ war；saw（锯）----- was；sloop（小型护航舰）-----pools；smart（机灵的）----- trams（电车）；snap（猛咬，争购）----- pans；tap（水龙头）------ pat（轻拍）；ten----- net（网）；tog（衣服）------ got；tom（雄猫）----- mot（警句）；tops（顶）------- spot（点）；tun（大酒桶）------ nut（坚果）。（接下页）

(编辑：新茱萸)

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