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What I have lived for  我为什么而活         ---清

(2006-11-15 19:01:52)
分类: 蓝. 浪漫 .生活
 

 

What have lived for  我为什么而活  

 

                                ---清

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     There passions,simple but overwhemingly strong,have governed my life:the longing for love,the search for knowledge,and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.These passions,like great winds,have blown me hither and thither.in a way-ward course,over a deep ocean of anguish,reaching to the very verge of despair.
     I have sought love,first,because it brings ecstasy--ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrigiced all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy.I have sought it,next,because it relieyes loneliness--that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss.I have sought it,finally,because in the union of love Ihave seen,in a mystic miniature,the prefiguring vision of tile heaven that saints and poets have imagined.This is what I sought,and though it might seem too good for human life,this is what--at last--I have found.
     With equal passion I have sought knowlege.I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I  have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number hlods sway above the flux.A little of this,but not much,I have achieved.
     Love and knowledge,so far as they were possible,led upward the heavens.But always pity brought me back to earth.Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine,victims tortured by oppressors,helpless old people a hated burden to their sons,and the whole of loneliness,poverty and pain make a mockery of what human life should be.I long to alleviate the evil,and I too suffer.
     This has been my life.I have found it worth living,and would gladly live it again if the chance were offeed me.
                                        <From Russell'Views on Life>
 
     有三种单纯而极为强烈的激情支控着我的一生,那便是对爱情的渴望,对知识的追求和对人类苦难痛切心扉的怜悯。这些激情,就像狂风,把我袭卷到绝望的境地,在深深的苦海上左右摇晃,使我的生活漂浮不定。
     我追求爱情,首先因为它使我心醉神迷,令我欣喜得常常愿意为了几个小时这样的快乐而牺牲生活中其他的一切。我追求它,又因它能消解孤独感---那种破碎的心灵望着世界边缘,掉进冰冷无底又无生命的深渊时的可怕孤独。我追求它,还因为与爱的结合使我在一种神秘的凝聚点中预先看到圣人和诗人们曾想像过的天堂。这是我所追求的,尽管人的生活似乎还不能够好好的享受它,这毕竟是我最终找到的东西。
     我怀着同样的激情追求知识,希望理解人类的心灵,想知道星辰为何闪烁,并且试图领悟毕达哥拉斯学说的真谛,它认为理性是支撑感性多变的永恒力量。我在这方面有所收获,但不多。
     爱情和知识的存在,把人引向天堂。可是,怜悯总是把我带回尘世。痛苦是哭喊在我的心中反响、回荡。孩子们倍受饥荒煎熬,无辜者被暴虐者折磨,无助的老人被儿子视为可恶的累赘,以及整个世界都是随处可见的孤独、贫困和痛苦。这都是对人类应有生活的嘲弄。我渴望能减少邪恶,可我做不到,于是我也在承受着痛苦。
     这是我的一生。我发现这一生是活得有意义的。如果能再给我一次活的机会,我将乐意重生一次。
                                       选自《罗素论人生》
 
 
     叔本华有些许地方我不太认同,而罗素罗兰是我一直无法逾越的灵魂。
     译笔太拙,请见谅。

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