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Love Notions

(2006-06-07 11:37:09)
Had goose bumps all over just to think about being held, the moment when the only thing you can feel is his breath next to you, and nothing in between. Toxic, I think that’s one of those chemicals that make you become addicted to substances like alcohol and cigarettes. Am I addicted? Will AA meeting help my kind of addiction? You will be amazed how one phone message can do to you, it makes your heart beat a thousand time faster, turns your hanger into pure excitement, makes you forget your proper manners. And that’s the magic of being human; you can’t seem to control your emotions when happens. The only thing you can try is to desperately find justifications, for your weakness, and your helpless pathetic uncontrolled emotional up and downs. Woman, from Venus? More like from Clueless? Goose bumps are gone now, rushes slowed down, life goes on. But why do you let them make you “unstable” every now and then? Maybe it’s the beauty of life, always so unpredictable like a roller coaster ride. Or is it just another justification we gave ourselves for being the way we are?
一想到被拥抱的感觉,全身就起鸡皮疙瘩,只感觉到它的气息,其他一切,都不存在了。毒药,我想到那是一种像酒精和香烟一样,让人上瘾的化学物质。我上瘾了吗?戒酒中心能戒掉这种瘾吗?一通简讯带来的影响,是超乎想象的,那会让你的心跳加速一千倍,让饥饿都成了兴奋的感觉,忘却自己原本谨守的规矩,这就是身为人类的奇妙吧,当感觉来临时,似乎就无法控制自己的情感了。唯一能做的,就是不顾一切地,为你的软弱,和可悲、无助、失控的情绪起伏,寻找合理化的理由。女人,是从金星来的吗?还是从另一个毫无头绪的星球?鸡皮疙瘩消失了,潮热感缓和了,生活继续。但为何每次都要被这些感觉所左右,无法稳定下来?也许这就是生命之美吧,想搭乘云霄飞车一样,总是无法预测。又活着,这是我们给自己另一个合理化的借口,好让我们可以继续这样。

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