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送给那些还没有看见过下面文章的人,哈哈!

(2006-02-20 16:10:34)
分类: My译文
送给那些还没有看见过下面文章的人,哈哈!

文/John Proffitt, 译/justblogging

李斯特效应:这孩子说话太快又太夸张,但是还真没说过什么重要的事儿。

布鲁克纳效应:这孩子说话忒慢,还老重复自己。因深刻而成名。

瓦格纳效应:这孩子有点儿枉自尊大,到了只能和自己的妹妹结婚。

马勒效应:这孩子老是不停的叫唤自己要死了,不但气长而且声儿大。

勋博格效应:这孩子把自己的词汇用尽了也不重复一个字。有时还倒着说。最后人们不再听他说了。这孩子抱怨人们没能力明白他。

巴比特效应:这孩子吐字不清还胡话连篇。最后人们不再听他了。他并不在意,因为玩伴们认为他挺酷的。

艾福斯效应:这孩子有一种了不起的能力,可以同时与不同的人对话。

格拉斯效应:这孩子容易反反复复反反复复反反复复反反复复反反复复地重复自己。

斯特拉文斯基效应:这孩子有些粗野,讲话喉音重,大逆不道,所以总在学前班里打架,照成混乱。

勃拉姆斯效应:这孩子能说出优美的语句,当然语句中必须是三的倍数(3,6,9,12等)。但如果是4或8的倍数就没意思了。

凯奇效应:这孩子在4分33秒中内啥也没说。老师中10有8、9都希望这样。



For those of you who haven't seen this yet: a good laugh!

LISZT EFFECT: Child speaks rapidly and extravagantly, but never really says anything important.

BRUCKNER EFFECT: Child speaks very slowly and repeats himself frequently. Gains reputation for profundity.

WAGNER EFFECT: Child becomes a megalomaniac. May eventually marry his sister.

MAHLER EFFECT: Child continually screams - at great length and volume - that he's dying.

SCHOENBERG EFFECT: Child never repeats a word until he's used all the other words in his vocabulary. Sometimes talks backwards. Eventually, people stop listening to him. Child blames them for their inability to understand him.

BABBITT EFFECT: Child gibbers nonsense all the time. Eventually, people stop listening to him. Child doesn't care because all his playmates think he's cool.

IVES EFFECT: the child develops a remarkable ability to carry on several separate conversations at once.

GLASS EFFECT: the child tends to repeat himself over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

STRAVINSKY EFFECT: the child is prone to savage, guttural and profane outbursts that often lead to fighting and pandemonium in the preschool.

BRAHMS EFFECT: the child is able to speak beautifully as long as his sentences contain a multiple of three words (3, 6, 9, 12, etc). However, his sentences containing 4 or 8 words are strangely uninspired.

And then of course, THE CAGE EFFECT -- Child says nothing for 4 minutes, 33 seconds. Preferred by 9 out of 10 classroom teachers.

Regards,

John Proffitt
KUHF-FM
Houston Public Radio

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