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深渊书简2

(2008-07-06 18:00:36)
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分类: 经典

I have no doubt that in this letter in which I have to write of your life and of mine, of the past and of the future, of sweet things changed to bitterness and of bitter things that may be turned into joy, there will be much that will wound your vanity to the quick. If it prove so, read the letter over and over again till it kills your vanity. If you find in it something of which you feel that you are unjustly accused, remember that one should be thankful that there is any fault of which one can be unjustly accused. If there be in it one single passage that brings tears to your eyes, weep as we weep in prison where the day no less than the night is set apart for tears. It is the only thing that can save you. If you go complaining to your mother, as you did with reference to the scorn of you I displayed in my letter to Robbie, so that she may flatter and soothe you back into self-complacency or conceit, you will be completely lost. If you find one false excuse for yourself, you will soon find a hundred, and be just what you were before. Do you still say, as you said to Robbie in your answer, that I “attribute unworthy motives” to you? Ah! you had no motives in life. You had appetites merely. A motive is an intellectual aim. That you were “very young” when our friendship began? Your defect was not that you knew so little about life, but that you knew so much.The morning dawn of boyhood with its delicate bloom, its clear pure light, its joy of innocence and expectation you had left far behind.With very swift and running feet you had passed from Romance to Realism. The gutter and the things that live in it had begun to fascinate you. That was the origin of the trouble in which you sought my aid,and I, so unwisely according to the wisdom of this world, out of pity and kindness gave it to you. You must read this letter right through, though each word may become to you as the fire or knife of the surgeon that makes the delicate flesh burn or bleed. Remember that the fool in the eyes of the gods and the fool in the eyes of man are very different. One who is entirely ignorant of the modes of Art in its revolution or the moods of thought in its progress, of the pomp of the Latin line or the richer music of the vowelled Greek, of Tuscan sculpture or Elizabethan song may yet be full of the very sweetest wisdom. The real fool, such as the gods mock or mar, is he who does not know himself. I was such a one too long. You have been such a one too long. Be so no More. Do not be afraid. The supreme vice is shallowness. Everything that is realized is right. Remember also that whatever is misery to you to read, is still greater misery to me to set down. To you the Unseen Powers have been very good. They have permitted you to see the strange and tragic shapes of Life as one sees shadows in a crystal. The head of Medusa that turns living men to stone,you have been allowed to look at in a mirror merely. You yourself have walked free among the flowers. From me the beautiful world of colour and motion has been taken away.

 毫无疑问这封信中所写的关于你还有我的生活,关于过去和将来,关于美好变成苦痛以及苦痛或可成为欢乐,个中很有一些东西会深深伤到你的虚荣心的。果真如此的话,那就一遍又一遍地把信重读吧,直到它将你的虚荣心除灭。假如发现信中有什么你觉得是把你冤枉了,记住应该感谢世上竟还有什么错失,可以使人因此受到指责而蒙受冤屈。假如信中有哪怕是一段话使泪花蒙上你的眼睛,那就哭吧,像我们在狱中这样地哭吧。在这儿,白天同黑夜一样,是留给眼泪的。只有这个能救你了。假如你跑到你母亲跟前告状,就像那次告我在给罗比的信中嘲弄你那样,让她来疼你哄你,哄得你又飘飘然得意忘形起来,那你就全完了。假如你为自己找了一个虚假的借口,过不久便会找到一百个,那也就同过去的你毫无二致了。你是不是还像在给罗比的回信中那样,说我把卑劣的动机归咎于你?啊!你的生活中可没有动机。你只有欲念而已。动机是理性的目标。说是在你我的友谊开始时你年纪还很小”?你的毛病不是少不更事,而是对生活懂得太多。少男岁月如晨曦初露,如鲜花初绽,可那纯洁清澈的光辉,那纯真向往的欢乐,已被你远远抛于脑后了。你脚步飞快的,早已从浪漫跑到了现实,迷上了这儿的阴沟以及生活在里边的东西。这就是你当初为什么会惹上麻烦,向我求助的;而我,以这个世界的眼光看是不明不智的,却出于怜悯和善意出手相助。你一定要把这封信通读,虽然信中的一词一语会让你觉得像外科医生的刀与火,叫细嫩的肌肤灼痛流血。记住,诸神眼里的傻瓜和世人眼里的傻瓜是大不一样的。艺术变革的种种方式或思想演进的种种状态、拉丁诗的华彩或元音化的希腊语那更丰富的抑扬顿挫、意大利托斯卡纳式的雕塑、伊丽莎白时代的歌调,对这些一个人可以全然不知,但却仍然充满最美妙的智慧。真正的傻瓜,诸神用来取乐或取笑的傻瓜,是那些没有自知之明的人。这样的傻瓜,我曾经当得太久了,你也已经当得太久了。别再当下去了。别害怕。恶大莫过于浮浅。无论什么,领悟了就是。同样记住,不管什么,你要是读着痛苦,那我使它形诸笔墨就更加痛苦。那些无形的力量待你是非常好的。它们让你目睹生活的种种怪异悲惨的形态﹐就像在水晶球中看幻影一样。蛇发女怪美杜莎,她那颗能把活人变成顽石的头颅,允许你只要在镜中看就行。你自己在鲜花中了然无事地走了,而我呢,多姿多彩来去自由的美好世界已经被剥夺了。

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