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黑狮妈的一封信

(2010-09-18 01:13:02)
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黑狮

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杂谈

分类: 有关狗的杂谈

黑狮妈的一封信

 

13号黑狮妈受邀去英国参加一个学术会议。由于手有伤,所以没带手提电脑,好在那里的电脑虽然不能输,但可以看中文。16号她在那儿看到我写的最近的这篇博文,有很多感触。下面是她从英国发回的一封电邮和译文。

 

 

Hi, everyone. Here is Tie Dan Ma from Cambridge in U.K. I've just read the latest article by Tie Dan Ba and I have something to say.

 

Even though I am here far away from home, I can still feel the feeling I had when I got this call from Tie Dan Ba on the day when he left to dig at Hei Shi's tomb. When he told me that he could not find Hei Shi, my heart sank, and tears swelled up in my eyes immediately. I realized that I had broken my promise to him, for I had told Hei Shi the last time I went to his tomb before we left for Shen Nong Jia: Don't worry. Mommy won't desert you. Daddy and Mommy will take care of you forever. But now... Despite my utmost pain at that moment, I tried to tell Tie Dan Ba in a calm voice: It's alright. You come back home then.

 

I failed to carry out my promise to Hei Shi! We failed! That's what we felt most hard to accept.

 

And what a coincidence that I had a high fever the very night when Hei Shi was most ill, and the fever became most serious the day he left us? What to make out of it? We used to remember and commemorate his death every year, but this year it got totally out of our mind and we did nothing to comfort our boy. How come?

 

Hei Shi's life is full of coincidences. He came to our home on November 15th, and he was taken to another family (Teacher Li's) exactly on that day two years later. We didn't plan that, and we only realized that several days later. At that time, Tie Dan Ba undertood it as the end of our connection with Heishi, while I took it to be a good sign for the continuation of our connection. Then he died on August 15th, which is the birthday of Teacher Li. We interpreted it to be Heishi's gratitude to his dearly loved grandpa. Now there is the above-mentioned coincidence, but we don't know how to understand it. Could it be, as Tie Dan Ba said, that Heishi is complaining about our ignoring him, or as many of you tried to make us believe, that he is saying goodbye to us in his own way. We really don't know.

 

大家好。我是铁蛋妈,现在在英国剑桥。我刚读到铁蛋爸写的最近的一篇博文,我有些话想说说。

 

尽管我这儿离家万里之遥,我仍能体味到那天铁蛋爸离开家挖黑狮墓时,我(在家)接到他电话时的感受。当他打电话告诉我说他找不到黑狮了,我的心沉到底了,泪水一下充满我的双眼。我意识到我违背了对黑狮的诺言,上一次去看他时是在我们去神农架前,在黑狮的墓前我告诉他:别担心!妈妈不会遗弃你,爸爸妈妈会永远照顾你。但是现在……尽管那时极其痛苦,我仍努力用平静的声音在电话中告诉铁蛋爸: 那好吧,你回来吧。

 

我对黑狮食言了!我们食言了!这让我们很难接受这件事。

 

 今年的8月17我开始发烧,那是4年前黑狮病重弥留的时刻,18号黑狮离开的日子,我高烧不退反升。如此巧合,怎能理解?每年我们都会记得他离开的日子,会纪念他,但今年我们把这个日子彻底忘了,我们没做任何事情来安慰我们的孩子。这是怎么啦?

 

 黑狮的一生充满巧合。他来到我们家是1115日,他被送给另一个家庭(李老师家)正是在两年后的那一天。对此我们没有任何计划,只是在几天之后才意识到。那个时候,铁蛋爸认为那表示和黑狮的缘尽了,而我把它视作是我们可以持续的好兆头。黑狮死于815日,正是收养他的李老师的生日。我们把这理解为黑狮对他热爱的爷爷的感恩。现在又是上面提到的这个巧合,但我们无法理解。它会是,如铁蛋爸说的,是黑狮在怨我们对他的忽视吗,或是你们中很多人想让我们相信的,那是他在用他自己的方式向我们道别?我们真的不知道。

 

 

有关黑狮被领养的前因后果,见博文 黑狮的眼泪http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_3fba85b60100bml6.html

 

 

 

 

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