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加载中…That I feel wordless when I wanna write something in Chinese words makes me feel bad and start to reflect on one thing that whether I am skin-deep or get confused due to everything including rational or irrational I have known so far.
But still get the typing started in English, that is good at least to write meaningless description and improve the sense in written English.
Looking back, I have been working on my own for about 9 months. It is a process that I learn to be alone and think alone. Friends are almost outside of my world, which personally is right to my understanding of the relationship with people around, that no relations could last forever just like nothing lasts forever.
心情像这秋天里的微微北风,轻飘涣散在阳光里。
距离上次写博客,时隔久远。
期间忙碌于工作,过得时而充实,时而糊涂。
近来心情不断起伏,虽然知道有些忧心实属多余。
生活的品质下降了很多,在肤浅的意识里,赚钱占据了主导,很长一段时间没有把生活过好。
觉醒总需要时间,就像做梦一样,很多时候等到了白天到来,闹钟响了,才戛然清醒过来。
今年很快要走过3/4。
人总是复杂的,在面对自己时,可以演化出很多面镜子,不同镜子代表潜在可能的自己。
镜子里外没有永远的长胜将军,这不像战场,哪怕你有90%的胜券,也可能完全被掰倒在地;因为人的内心的多面性,可以为妖为孽。
有时我会感觉失去力量,所有正面的东西在时间里偶尔会突然被荒芜掉。
所有自信,所有内心的坚定,灰飞烟灭。
那种感觉,有时候用恐慌,茫然,无措都无法言喻;就像alone跟lonely在我看来,永远都没有清晰的临界点一样。
最是难过的是模糊不清。
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