In a flash, we're half way through the year. I've been overwhelmed with work these days. It seems I have the knack to landing myself in work. Oh, I am a perfection when it comes to work. No one to blame. Half a year has passed, and whatever feeling I had towards it, there is no coming back. It is the first time in my life that I've felt so terribly bitter about the loss of time. And that I am getting old. There is a heaviness in my heart when I brought up this topic. I often ask myself' Where is my life going? What did I do with my time?'

 

The work was endless and the sleep deprivation drove me nuts. I got very moody and restless. For a cat person like myself, I can't function well with sleeping less than 8 hours a day. The worst thing was, I became hopeless. For quite some time, I moved like a zombie; I talked but I was not really focused. It was all, totally, crazy.

 

There were times while I was on my way to work, I asked mysel f' Can I cope? What if I really get crazy, literally?' But I quickly came back to sanity: everybody is working hard to make a living. Life sometimes can mean plain hard work.

 

But hey, life still sparkled with reward in the past few weeks. When you are recognized by others, when your work brings good-ness to others. That is to remember. The hard work made me frustrate and forget the bliss that life brings me. And now, when I sit back in a cafe, with a heap of materials to prepare for next week, I actually feel not that bad.

 

In July, I will try to be more organized and efficient with work. Also, I will eat well and sleep well. My mother will come to see me so I will not worry about my meals.

 

All right, I'd better start preparing for work now. Stop here for today.

 

5 July 2009。晴。

It's been a while since I started keeping a cat. It was a streetcat but I don't know how long ago she had become one. It was sick when I picked up her home, but she is getting better day by day.

 

I've kept many cats but this one is most interesting one. She has long legs, a narrow bone structure and big golden eyes. A beautiful creature indeed. There is no doubt to me that she is a smart cat, and can take in almost any information I cast her. She likes to sit in the couch and looks really cool. God I love this cat.

 

 

June 21st。晴。

 

 

 

 

被“茉莉”点名回答的问题：

Q1:你的大名？

保密

Q2:你认为什么才算是真正幸福?

好好生活，善待他人和动物

Q3:你觉得友情重要还是爱情重要?

友情

Q4:你相信天长地久吗?

以前相信过

Q5:你现在过得快乐么?   

快乐

Q6:如果有秘密.你真的会做到坦白的告诉对方吗?

如果涉及我们的关系，我会坦诚

Q7:喜欢小baby吗?

喜欢不吵的

Q8:觉得友情是永远的么?

不一定

Q9:希望自己多大结婚?

小的时候想18岁，因为18岁很遥远。现在没有打算。

Q10:你会为他做自己从来不会做的事情?

不知道

Q11:你觉得女生卷发好还是直发好?

适合自己气质的发型最好 

Q12:最想去哪里旅游?

没有特别想去的。

Q13:一辈子都不会忘记的

我妈妈

Q14:如果爱一个人,是不是要拼命挽回TA?

不会

Q15:看到天空你想起的第一个人是谁?

外星人

Q16:你会爱TA一辈子么?

不知道

Q17:喜欢你的人和你喜欢的人你会选哪个? 

不好说

Q18:你会以何种方式表现你对他(她)的爱?

太宽泛了。不一定

19:如果看到自己最爱的人熟睡在你面前你会做什么? 

在他脸上画猫胡子

Q20:如果你想痛扁一个人,你希望那个人是?

可能是天蝎座的人

Q21:你会后悔过自己的决定吗?

有也不承认

Q22:现在最迷什么?

工作

Q23:你是好孩子吗?

我不是孩子，小时候很叛逆，不算是

Q24:觉得爱情和面包哪个重要?

面包

Q25:如果你失恋了会怎么样?

不会怎么样，继续好好生活

Q26:如果你的BF(GF)经常不回家的话,你会怎样?

了解为什么。很可能会分开

Q27.:心煩的時候要怎麽办?

不怎么办，该做什么做什么

Q28:你怎么看待友情?

友情很重要

Q29:世界上你最崇拜的人?

我妈妈

Q30:全世界谁最傻？

不好说

Q31：全世界的爱.

博爱

Q32:你会一直等你喜欢的人吗?

不会

Q33：你会在意你现在男[女]朋友的过去嘛

不会

Q34：你被朋友出卖过吗？

我不在意

Q35：2009年最想干什么？

没有特别想做的

Q36:当发现爱你的人骗你时,你会怎么做?

可能分开，可能继续

Q37：希望以后自己的老公{老婆}是什么样子的？

言行一致，有事业心，有爱心

Q38：最喜欢吃的食物？

我妈妈做的饭菜

Q39：你覺得传题目给你的这个人跟你关系怎么样？

博友，很感性很天真的样子，经常交流，觉得是个好朋友

Q40: 如果可以的话,愿意为自己的爱人牺牲一切,包括生命吗?

不会

Q41: 被点名之后你的心情如何?‘

觉得问题很好玩

Q42: 最喜欢的动物是什么？

猫和马

Q43:你最想得到甚麽?

和平，安静，和谐

Q44:你想和谁去哪?

自己看书写东西，一只猫在身旁

Q45:什么时候觉得自己很邪恶?

心存嫉妒的时候 

Q46:為什麽事有些人會無緣無故在你面前消失?

无缘

Q47：相信命中注定么？

有时候相信

Q48:如果一个人伤害了你,你会怎么对他？

不怎么样，伤了证明我在意，以后对这个人不在意了就好

Q49:你觉得爱最大的力量是什么?
和谐

Q50:你会怎样去维系你的幸福？

割舍很多欲望

 

 

Can you believe it? Almost half of 2009 has rolled away! In this half year, I lost my beloved grandma; I lost some friends; I left my previous job, I struggled making choices...A lot of things happened!

 

And now, I want to be better everyday. I thank the bumpy road I went through, and I thank myself for not giving in or giving up, so that I can still say to myself at heart: Well done, Ally! I am grateful I can hold a glass of wine in the evening and have time to read, not worrying the room will suddenly smell like a sew, and some dog wags his hinder part like an Indian Dancer. It is divine! But thinking him can still make me tear sometimes. I hope he lives well.

 

I've been believing in setting personal goals. It works for me. In some way it keeps me from getting side-tracked too much or losing focus. For this June, my goals are simple.

 

Be better everyday. Read and learn new things everyday. Be more tolerant with people. Work harder. Be more organised. Give my time to helping others. Be friendly.

 

Take care of myself. I've been under the weather for months now. In June, I will eat properly. Live well. Exercise. Manage my stress and anxiety. I need to be healthy, for hosptial bills' sake, to say the least, so before I am rich, this should top the list.

 

June 5。晴。

 

 

 

I'd hoped a new entry after a break would be a happy one, but it's not exactly so. I gave my dog to a couple three days ago. I cried after I sent him away. It's like I dumped him.

 

I called the mistress just now and she told me she and her husband are out on a holiday now and they brought the dog with them! The reason I gave the dog to them is, they love dogs, they have no kids, a big apartment for the dog to pee and poo around, and, they have a lot of free time to clean up! Qualified enough to deserve a dog like my dog! They even gave him a girl's name 'Ruby'!

 

God bless them!

 

May 30。晴。