“ Life's most urgent question is: What are you doing

 

“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. ”

 

This quote stroked me when I first read it and I began to think about it… One of my dream in the past was to be the flame to light up others, and I strived towards the goal.  Indeed I made it along the past years especially when I was in the ministry! There were people who came to me and showed their heartfelt gratitude to what I've done in their lives.  It was always a very warm feeling when I received all these thanksgiving comments and I was really thankful to see that Father is using me to be that flame!  However, there were times that my flame grow weaker, or even goes out! In fact, now my flame has already gone out!  It was sad as I look at my circumstances at present.  I need to rekindle... I thought

 不知为什么，这段日子都连续接到unpleasent news... 先是莲姨的去世，然后是一位死党的姥姥病逝，接着就是一位好朋友的爸爸病危。。。 哎，当我听这位长辈病危的消息时我心里有无限的感慨！因为我怀念起这位少年时的好朋友！其实应该说是故友，他十几年前因意外丧命。。。忽然很想念他！很怀念与他一起的许多事情和他说的话。。。最怀念他独有的爽朗笑声、他为我做的许多贴心事、他对我的关心、我和他的情谊。。。 咱俩一起度过我们的青涩岁月，一路走来的那段日子我们彼此都很珍惜。谁说男女之间不可能有单纯的友情，我可以很坚定的告诉他我有！若他现在还在的话，我也可以很确定每一次我有什么困难和心事时，他一定会第一时间联系我，特别我又是在异乡，他更会着急！他永远是那么的关心我，尤其是我前一阵子心情最低落时我知道他肯定很心疼我。。。 我一直不愿再想他那次遇到的致命意外，但对他的怀念排山倒海的袭来，使我不禁想起。。。 至今想起那事故仍然揪心的疼！他还那么年轻，有许多的抱负和热忱。。。 不过也好，世上的愁苦劳烦对他也

这段日子我真的太累了！特别是身体，每天下班总是拖着累得不行的身躯回家。。。星期六更不用说，那是我最忙碌的一天！因为要教一天的课，晚上还有服事。所以基本上星期天除了去教会就无法再做任何事或去任何地方。 以前上班时也没那么累，哎！年级大了身体不行了！呵呵。。。

现在有很多事没力气做，就连身边的亲人和朋友也关心不了，心有余而力不足啊！ 本来平时自己总会想很多事，思考和反思是我生活的习惯，但现在脑袋已经无力运作了。不过有一点倒是可以阿Q一下的是很多事和话我都没力气去计较了！ 这样也好，对我这个极度敏感和有点神经质的人来说未尝不是件好事，心里可以轻省点！只是我偶尔会觉得我这样的状态有点可悲。。。

一直以来我有个留

 

These few days i was feeling weird...  it's a very strange feeling that i hardly had.   It was a feelilng of palpitation(心悸), both in the   physical heart and also a feeling deep inside!  I just sensed something not very good will happen... my house agent whom we hardly contacted texted me all of a sudden and told me she dreamt of me, when she woke up she just felt strange and wondered why she dreamt of me since we were not acquainted.  She didn't tell me what was the dream about but just told me to take care of my health. I have to say that her message disturbed me for a while! In fact, before she texted me, I was already feeling palpitate! my physical heart was not feeling very well, I know it was due to exhaustion!  however, I know there is s