<世界日报>上不时会有一些“笑话”。这里所说的“笑话”是指作者写了可笑的文章，编辑稀里糊涂给登出来。前段时间，有人写了一篇文章，说要把中国的英译改为 Zhongguo (据说该文被国内各网站转载)。理由之一是，中国的英译 China 在英文词典(英英词典)中查不到，这是歧视中国。China 在英文词典(英英词典)中的确“查”不到。因为一些英文词典。如，牛津词典，Webster's Collegiate Dictionary

本文列出一些中国人在英语写作中常见的“毛病”。这些也是我以前常犯的“毛病”，也是我经常看见中国人在英语写作中犯的“毛病”。例句取自一些英语书籍(类似的例子在中国人文章中很多)，当然也是英美人常犯的“毛病”。这里所说的“毛病”，不是词汇用法和语法方面的问题，是指“修辞”方面的问题。

1) I went to the library in the afternoon. I took out a book that was on the reading list. Then I went home to eat supper. I did not open the book until after supper. Then I discovered that it was the wrong volume. I was greatly annoyed. I should have looked at the book when I took it out. I had nobody to blame but myself.

科学家钱学森去世是科技界一大损失。以前国内有在力学(物理学)界有大三钱(钱学森、钱伟长、钱三强)和小三钱(钱令希等)一说，可见钱老的影响。我以前在北航念研究生时曾读过钱老有关弹性力学和稀薄空气动力学的论文。他做了不少SOLID工作。但后来他转向实际工作，从学术水平来说，他没有超过他的老师冯-卡门。钱老的成就是组织领导了中国的导弹研制项目，把中国的导弹送上天。这是重复了外国的工作。但实际上是很难。从钱老的回忆文章可以看到，第一次发射他心里也没底，直到报告说导弹命中目标，他才放心

现在国内学英语还是很热。和尚也学英语。我在美国碰到由和尚组成的访问团。他们能说英语，要求餐馆提供素食。我个人的经验(可能也是很多人的经验)是，用到多少，学多少。比如你是搞科研的，应着重在英语科研文章阅读和写作上下功夫，英语口语就不必花太多时间；因为花了很多时间，没有用到，最后全忘掉。

学英语需要一本好词典。<新英汉词典>是大家常用的词典。应该说，<新英汉词典>是一本好词典。它基本上是抄牛津词典。但是它的问题也不少。我没有时间专门去找它的问题，只是将我碰到的问题列举如下。供英语学习者和词典编者参考。

问题可分为：一，漏列了一些单词

在英语中使用双重否定句子是一个令人困惑的问题；对美国人也是如此。一些学者建议避免使用双重否定句子。但在现实中，双重否定句子还是大量存在在口语，电影对白以及文章中。实际上，英语中的双重否定(Double Negative) 还是否定的意思，只是强调否定。下面是一些双重否定句子的例子：(例句取自一些英语书籍)

After he was laid off, Hal realized that he didn't need none of the luxuries.

Mr. Brown said he ain't got none of those apples that you want.

Bart says he hasn't seen Betty nowhere.

令人困惑的是双重否定

英语学到一定程度，应转到使用英英词典。主要的理由是，看了一个单词的英语解释后，能更确切地知道该词的意思。对同义词更是如此。在英语中有很多同义词。在英汉词典中，同义词经常被译为同一个汉语单词，失去了原来的细微区别(Flavor)。当然，要用好同义词，还得多查同义词词典。

另一个理由是，一些英汉词典有问题。这是一个令人窘迫的理由。在一些英汉词典中，主要的问题是释义不全。拿<新英汉词典>来说，anecdote 只有一个释义：轶事。实际上，anecdote 还有其他意思。又比如，swipe 是一个常用的单词，它的基本意思是：wipe with a sweeping motion

本文来自美国朋友的EMAIL。

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD

Kindergarten Teacher: To get to the other side.

Plato: For the greater good.

Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

Karl Marx: It was an historical inevitability.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

本文来自美国朋友的EMAIL。

THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIES

1) During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

2) Most dogs are immortal.

3) If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

4) All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on t

本文来自美国朋友的EMAIL。

THE PARADOX OF OUR TIME

We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more; but enjoy it less.

We have more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgement; more experts, but more problems.

We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.

We've added years

本文来自美国朋友的EMAIL。

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU'RE IN LOVE, IN LUST OR REALLY MARRIED?

LOVE--When your eyes meet across a crowded room.

LUST--When your tongues meet across a crowded room.

MARRIAGE--When you lose your child in a crowded room.

LOVE--When intercourse is called 'making love.'

LUST--When intercourse is called 'screwing.'

MARRIAGE--What the hell are you talking about?

LOVE--When you argue over how many children to have