anny's backyard

分开近一个月，你就生病发烧到要去医院挂水三天的地步，让人着实为你zhuo急啊。上周labor day假期三天去了旧金山，虽然四月才去过，但这次再去的心境毕竟不一样。即使旅行的目的地不变，旅伴变了，旅途的感受也会变。四月的金门大桥在阳光下耀眼夺目，而九月的桥呢？笼罩在一层雾气中，若隐若现，像个羞涩的姑娘。

四月的九曲花街上鲜花尚未绽放，九月再见，绣球花也已然呈星星落落的状态，我再一次错过了最美的季节。

今日与小清新搭Grace的新车车去了位于Garden Grove的Crystal Cathedral，尖顶直插云霄，傲视四周加州典型的低海拔建筑物。途中在Anaheim的Original Pancake House享用典型的美式brunch，三人分别点了Blueberry Waffle,Apple Pancake和Spanish Omelette，分量颇足，美中不足的就是店里的特色pancake过于甜腻，用北京话说就是“Hou”到家了。听着台北的Grace姑娘用北京话说这Pancake Hou shi了，颇觉有趣。参观完教堂三人又来到了西海岸最大的Shopping mall-South Coast Plaza，要属华人顾客最多，尤其是奢侈品林立的商铺。美国本地人与之相比明显购买力不足，只能徘徊于二三线品牌的店铺前。回来的路上freeway有点儿小堵，我坐在副驾仔细听着GPS的指示，想象自己开车时应该如何follow GPS的指示，如何判断1 mile的距离。别看Grace平时文文静静的一姑娘，开高速可一点都不拖泥带水，快而稳，让我恍惚间有D在开车的感觉。

没有你的加州，一切都要靠自己，从学车开始。

过去的2010年，是23年人生中变化最大的一年，有欢笑，有泪水，有甜蜜，有心酸，俨然一幅浓墨重彩的油画。

眼前的2011年，希望是自我实现的一年，即便成不了油画，也要是幅水粉画。

“不是常常有机会遇到可以爱一生的人。

不是能想着明天爱情会变得怎样，而谈着恋爱的。”

                                 ----赤名莉香

I was cooking broccoli at home last night after class, alone. All of a sudden, I burst into tears. Don't know how and why. Probably because I was overwhelmed by the (non)probability sampling stuff at the research class, or because I was homesick. God, the word homesick never applied to me. I was on the old track again. I hate the 'me' at the moment. The all-year sunshine in southern California is supposed to cheer me up.

Just now, one of the roomies cooked sweet chicken wings and white fungus. The white fungus stewed with lily and medlar totally killed me, reminding me of those happy afterschool afternoons back in elementary school when grandpa rode me home and grandma handed me a bowl of deliciously cooked white fungus. Yes, that's what I call the flavor of childhood.

Eating is the biggest thing in my world, far more important than pray and love, partly due to I'm a single atheist. I just hate to see the contentious pics of those couples showing off their so called eternity. Personally I do not believe that love can gain more strength through show-off.That will only lead to vomitting and so on. Well, pray can be sometimes important, depending on the inner being of each individual. I do pray sometimes when I totally feel helpless and holpless. I guess what I really need now is to focus on my daily diet and pray evey now and then for a not so awful grade for my mid-terms.

Mom kept urging me to think about that big thing during phone calls, which is sort of driving me crazy. I don't care about my cousins finding their 'true love' which I don't think I will do in the short term, but pls just do not show that off in front me and my family.  I'm not that old to finish that big thing, my dear mom. Why can't I just follow y

题记：10/1/2003-10/1/2010: 2555天 从这个数字本身足以看出本人250的程度

昨夜今晨，隔着窗户听雨，加州两个月来的第一场雨。雨滴打在院里的草丛卵石上，化为熟悉的合奏曲，是江南氤氲的夏雨，是一不小心踩在水洼里的埋怨，是上学路上骑车滑过水塘时的沙沙声，是走在人行道上被车辆溅到水花的诅咒，是我对家乡所有雨天的记忆。

先前在沪上的三个月让我对江南的黄梅天报以极度的不满，闷热，喘不过气......而经过了加州两个月灿烂阳光的暴晒，又不时念起江南的雨。生活总是需要一些调味剂。

某人说一听到某首歌就想哭，虽有儿女情长之嫌，但也终究是人之常情。我就缺这么一首能让我一听就哭鼻子的歌，因为不想和矫情挂上钩。Emotion和sensitiveness有时不能混为一谈，题记里的算术题也许显得很sensitive，但于我它只是一种addicted emotion，一种只有借着雨天才纵容自己的emotion。

终于明白啥是典型的daobidao，照这种状况我估计不足一月就能被折腾进精神病医院。

路上折腾了15个小时，终于于PDT Time8月3日中午12：10空降LAX. Many thanks to old buddy,一路高速2个多小时到Riverside。加州的天气真干燥，待惯江南那种窝涩天的人反而有点不习惯这里的气候。米国人的口味真淡，连我这么爱清淡的都受不了这里的pasta&subway，嚼之无味。休整了两天，明天去学校附近搜房，good luck to myself!

I'm really really really pissed off this week.The world is full of hypocrasy. Even the person closest to you can be hypocritical. Everybody is pretending to be someone else which they're supposed to be according to the expectation of the society around, meanwhile they are in reality a totally different person as they seem to be. Me? Yes, I'm by all means trying to become an ideal daughter, grand-daughter,cousin,student,a friend in need,and everything that a twenty something girl should do at this period of time. Then take another perspective for self-examintaion. I'm sentimental, sensitive, selfish, unsecured, undecided, idealized, picky, self-contradicted, supercillious most of the time and quick-tempered sometimes. The two me can hardly find a equilibrium. Even myself is a good explanation of hypocrasy. So why should I ask people around me to discard the hypocritical half?